july 2009 updates..

hmm.. it's been a while..

there's a lots of events struck me n my surrounding these past months..

anyway, to kecheq, thank you so much for having 'that person'.. i love u so much, and i can't tell u how grateful i am right now.. how i wish i could take all your pain away from u, how i wish that i'm the one in pain instead of u.. but all i can do is listen.. and care.. and good luck with your new place..

there are some new resolutions that i need to achieve as soon as possible.. wish me luck..

to my toys, do serve your new owner as good as u have served me.. it's been thrilling, and i'm sorry for not spending enough time with some of u.. and sorry that i have to let u guys go and had replace u..

to D, i know it's has been more than 10 years, but it has to stop now.. u have been a good friend to me, u have accompanied me through my ups and downs, you are the first one i look for when i'm depressed.. but, i have to take care of someone new.. thank you so much for what u have done for me..

referring to my previous posts, hmm.. i'm a bit sad as i can't change the world..
well, who am i to change the world..??
i've done my part.. i've tried my best.. but still, a stone will still be a stone.. no matter how beautiful a sculpture has been carved from a stone, people will always say that "it's still a stone".. u can change the outer layer, but u can't change the foundation..

something to note about.. and all i can say is, i have my own stand.. but it really hurts to see the outcome.. now, i could see the actual faces that has been hiding for all these years.. before this, my ears have tried to persuade me to believe, but my heart said give them some chances.. but then, bits by bits, my heart started to believe.. and now, my brain understands.. and my thought is saying, good luck to u.. 0

hope u know who u have hurt..
hope u realize who are u kissing right now..
hope u like the taste of the saliva that u once spit out..
hope u are happy with your current and future lifestyle..
hope u know the one u kiss is kissing someone u despise behind u..
hope u know when u stab the knife, there's already a knife at your back..

remember the time when u're getting pulled into the quicksand, whose hand did u hold on to..?
remember the time when u need somebody to listen to you, whose ears did u talk to..?
remember the time, when u're in need, whose legs are running to help u..?
remember the time when u're depressed, whose heart told u not to worry..?

but whatever it is.. the world nowadays has make people to live in survival mode..
peoples are often to forgets..
peoples are so hard to appreciate..
peoples are easy to hate..

if u wanna know the answer, try to think about,
whose number u has just removed from your 'speed dial list' on your phone..?
whose name that u has just (maybe nearly) removed from your contact list..?

it is that easy to remove someone from your life.. right..? the fact is, as i said before this, it is easy to forgets all the good deeds someone has done for u, but it is hard to forgets a simple bad deed that someone has just done to u..

i do realize that i have hurt some people.. i do realize that i have fuck up a lot.. i do realize some people cried to their sleep because of me.. all i can do is apologizes.. but, as i said,
good deeds are like stick-on-notes, they tend to stick for a while,
bad deeds are like engraving, it's nearly impossible to remove it..

looks like i am meant to be tormented.. hopefully, it can all be better soon.. i hope..

my iPhone 3G experience.. legally in Malaysia..

it's been 2 weeks since my wife, Kecheq, bought me an iPhone 3G.. legally.. it was part of our deal for birthday gift(s) for each other.. she bought me an iPhone 3G, and i bought her a brand new Nikon D60 plus my ol' 32Gb iPod Touch.. heh.. we enrolled with the Maxis iPhone package called iValue as currently, Maxis is the only LEGAL sole distributor for iPhone 3G in Malaysia..

anyway, just to share some experience with u guys about iPhone 3G in Malaysia..

as soon as i got my iPhone, i was thinking of what to do with the new postpaid line that we have to register in order to get the iPhone.. we enrolled to the iValue1 which is Kecheq have to pay RM2290 for the phone, and me paying RM200 deposit and the monthly commitment charges of RM100 for one year.. i'm too lazy to notify everyone in my contact list that i've a new mobile number, and i hate to let go of my current mobile number.. all i can think of is, i can just kept the new Maxis number unused.. i can stay with my current number so that people dont have to update my number in their phonebook.. 1 problem half solved..

secondly, as soon as i swap the SIM card (from Maxis to Celcom), i thought there will be no problem.. as i tried to migrate all my contacts from my Dopod D810 phonebook, i've messed up.. i was informed that i can transfer all my contacts using Ms Outlook.. so, first thing i have to do is to sync my contacts from my D810.. i configured my D810 and my laptop at home, and as soon as the sync progressed, i noticed something.. ActiveSync didnt show the number of contacts that are being sync to my Outlook.. as it finished, there's nothing on my Outlook.. s**t.. something's wrong.. when i checked my D810, all the contacts are gone..
trying to keep myself calm, i look for the backup files on my storage card.. the last backup was September 2008 (as i'm too lazy to backup my phone).. hmm.. better than nothing, so, i restored the September backup and all i have in my phonebook is the number prior to that time.. i've lost all the latest entry up to March 2009.. *sigh*..
what happened was i forgot to change the option on my D810's ActiveSync.. the option of 'if there is a conflict: replace the item on my device'.. *sigh*.. i changed it to 'keep the item on my device' and sync it again.. and there's no problem afterwards.. and i set all the numbers with international code for Malaysia (+6) so that it would be organized..

as i've been using iPod Touch before and the GUI is just the same, there's no problem to personalise my iPhone.. and so i thought.. heh.. i noticed something wrong.. when someone called me on my phone, their names didn't show up.. it only showed their number as if they are not in my phonebook.. at first, i thought maybe because i have lost a few of my contacts due to my migrating mistake.. but when a person texted me, their name showed up.. hmm.. as i tested Kecheq's phone to call my phone, her name didn't show up.. occay.. something is wrong.. i searched on Google, there's a few people who had the same problem, but it's not in Malaysia.. they had some problem with localization.. so, i tried to configure my iPhone to Malaysia, but there's no option for Malaysia.. hmm.. and if i remove the +6 on my contacts, their name showed up when they call me, but if they text me, only their number showed up.. maybe because Malaysia has just participate in iPhone world tour, so, Malaysia hasn't been added to their database..
and the only possible solution i can think of is to jailbreak my iPhone.. actually, i dont want to jailbreak my iPhone.. but, i can think of nothing else for this problem.. so, i ended up jailbreaking my iPhone that night.. and using Cydia, i installed the patch for this problem.. i cant remember the name of that patch, but it helps.. my problem is solved.. i think maybe after the iPhone OS 3.0 update, i wont have to jailbreak my iPhone as the problem would be solve..

and as i had to jailbreak, i have done a few customization.. here's the screenshot of my iPhone 3G interface..


eventhough i've jailbreak my iPhone, believe me that i havent installed any pirated/cracked application on my iPhone.. every apps was downloaded from Apps Store wether it's a free or paid version..

why pay for apps as i've jailbroken my iPhone..?? u might be asking that question..
one thing i noticed.. if u bought any apps in Apps Store, your purchase will be recorded in iTunes database.. so, if anything happens to your phone or in case u change to another iPhone, u can re-download the apps u've already purchase for free.. u dont have to pay for the same app..
and if u installed a pirated/cracked apps, in my experience *cough* (on my Ipod Touch), u wont get any updates for that apps.. so, there's a lot of advantages of buying legitimate apps for your iPhone.. and another thing.. actually, i didnt try it yet, in my case of having iPod Touch and iPhone, if u bought the apps from Apps Store using one account, u can installed it on both device.. cool.. i dont know wether someday Apple would change this rule, but i hope they wont.. heh..

and about my 'have to register' Maxis postpaid number, i thought of a use for it.. the Maxis plan comes with 500mb of data usage as i have to pay RM100 every month for 1 year.. so, using my D810, i installed a software call WMWIFIRouter to turn my D810 into a wifi router on the go.. cool eh..?? what it did is my D810 has been configured using that software so it would connect to Maxis 3G coverage.. so, my D810 has become a portable WIFI router for me.. i can surf the internet, and such everywhere, anywhere (as long as there's Maxis 3G coverage) without using my Celcom postpaid.. so, i will be using the RM100 that i have to pay, and still save on my Celcom number.. but a few features on the iPhone requires me to connect directly using my Celcom 3G, such as Maps, as the GPS chip on the iPhone is AGPS which requires 3G connection to pinpoint my location.. *sigh*

OS 3.0 update.. hmm.. can't wait for it.. the only feature i really want so bad is the A2DP.. time to go for wireless entertainment again..
MMS..?? not for me.. hate MMS..
more push email.. i really hope Apple would change that.. currently, there's only two push email.. MobileMe and Exchange.. and u can only create one (yeah, one) Exchange account on iPhone.. please change that..

i think that's all for now.. update on my life..?? maybe next post.. in 3 or 4 months time.. hehehe..

iphone 3g in malaysia..

finally, iphone 3g arrived in malaysia legally.. thanx to maxis..

to mede.. still wanna buy my dopod..?? hehe..

4th anniversary..

err.. i didn't had the chance to blog lately, as i was a bit busy (and lazy)..
but just wanna let you guys know, that it was me n Kecheq 4th anniversary last Friday (December 19th).. and thank you keng for the early wish.. heh..
actually, i got a game of futsal that Thursday night, and it was supposed to start at 2300.. so, the game would finish at 0000 (December 19th).. i was thinking on how to celebrate the anniversary with my wife, and i came up with an idea of surprising her..
on Thursday, i asked a favor from a friend who lived near the futsal centre (Sports Planet Ampang), to buy a cake from Secret Recipe.. i told him to bring the cake to the game that night, and i'll try my best to persuade Kecheq to come along to the game that night.. Kecheq usually don't want to follow as she will be bored during my futsal match.. and there's a lot of interesting tv series on Astro on Thursday nights..
i tried my best not to blow the surprise for Kecheq as me and my friend are talking in codes about the plan.. but, i think she had some clues on what will happen that night.. heh..
somehow, she agreed to accompany me to the game.. i acted normal and so did my friends.. i've already told everyone who came that night about the plan of surprising my wife, and luckily, everyone was sporting.. thanks guys..
exactly at 0000, me and Jamal went to retrieve the cake that has been kept inside his car.. by the time i approached Kecheq, she said "I've knew it..!!" hehe.. she told me that she sensed something.. she thought it was a bit weird as me and friends are talking in codes, how i insisted her to come along and such.. heh..
and after the game, i forced everyone to have some bite of the cake.. all the adrenaline after the game, plus a bit of cheese cake, i knew it would be a disaster.. heh.. luckily no one vomited..

on the anniversary day, me n Kecheq went to Midvalley Megamall for a brunch at Madam Kwan.. the food there was occay (for me), but i think the price was insane.. a plate of 'sambal udang petai' was RM20+..!! Kecheq told me that the portion would be big, but as it arrived, damn it was a disappointment.. and i was mumbling as we ate.. heh.. and i told myself, if the bill is more the RM100, i'll never eat there again.. not that i'm broke or something, but i hate the overcharging.. i'm occay if that portion of sambal udang petai was charged at RM10+, as there's only 6 pieces of small shrimps and the rest was petai.. luckily, the bill was only at RM70++.. hmm.. not bad.. and truthfully, i'm still unsatisfied.. heh..

anyway, just wanna wish my wife, Kecheq, Happy 4th Anniversary.. and Happy 4th Birthday to Oyen.. and thank you Along Amin for giving me a Timex Heart Rate Monitor watch.. i'm sure i'll fully utilize it.. it's work out time.. got to have six packs before err.. someday.. hehehe..

tormented.. part 4..

hmm..
those phrase has really left me some deep impact.. back in the old days, the 'selfish' me doesn't really care for my surrounding. but all is just about me and myself.. i don't appreciate a lot of things and yet, when they've gone, only then i know how much they're meant to me..

some people nowadays, and i don't know why, are too selfish to think about others.. as long as they can get what they need, they don't want to think about how their action can affect other people/things..

for instance, the current issue of using 'fatwa' to ban something.. in my country, they have succeeded to ban Yoga.. the reason for the ban..?? they said that yoga uses some kind of chant to praise Hindu's so called Lords and such.. i don't use the term God as there no other God but Allah.. i'm really surprised bout the decision, as i know somehow those melody that has been used in yoga are not all about appraising their Lords.. the main purpose for the melody are for meditation and somehow relaxing.. but then, all i can say is, they should have known better.. even in Islams' teaching, there's one saying.. and somehow, i can't find the right words in English, but it goes something like this..

Janganlah kamu menghalalkan sesuatu yang haram, dan janganlah kamu mengharamkan sesuatu yang halal..

hope someone can translate it to English.. anyway, somehow as they manage to ban yoga, currently they're trying to ban smoking ciggies n such using the power of fatwa.. hmm.. as i have wrote in my previous post in this blog, somehow, i think they are not thinking too deep about this issue.. don't they know currently smokers are one of the main contributors for the national taxes..?? we (smokers) pay our taxes everyday by buying a pack of ciggies..

and as i wrote before.. what happens if everyone in this country suddenly stop buying any cigarettes..?? Malaysia could lost millions of ringgit.. and what can the ministers do to avoid this..?? i bet they would increase the price of everything to compensate all the lost.. and i bet at that time, everyone would felt differently for the ex-smokers..

hmm.. that's the current issue.. in everyday life, i still trained myself not to neglect anyone or anything as i know somehow, someday, they can disappeared from my life in an instance.. my family (my wife, oyen n taupe, my parents and everyone that i can call 'family'), my friends, my assets, my career and such.. actually, i have lost something that are very precious to me for the second time in my life.. my biological father..

my parent was divorced when i was two and a half years old.. i grew up without a father's love.. my father do came and visit me and my siblings every months for a mere 2-3 hours.. but after i finished my studies, i tried to become close to him as i try to get a job quite near to him.. that's one of the reason my workplaces are mostly located in the middle of KL.. i tried to free up some time to have lunch with my father, hang out at his office during my free time.. but it all changes when he got an offer to work in Nigeria.. i was quite shocked about his decision, but i still have to respect it.. i tried so hard to help him to get through all the necessity and preparation for him for his departure.. at that time also, me and my girlfriend (currently my wife) are planning to get married.. we were actually planned to have the wedding on June 2005, but after we knew that my father will be leaving around end of December 2004, i decided to have the wedding on the middle on December 2004.. but still, after all my effort to make sure he will be there on my wedding day, i found out that he have to leave early.. he departed to Nigeria on November.. i was so frustrated....

and while he was in Nigeria, i tried to keep in touch with him.. and some time, when he got the chance to return to Malaysia, i tried to spend some time with him.. but, i don't know why, or when, suddenly i got the news from someone else that my father already quits his job at Nigeria.. and he has return to Malaysia.. without notifying any of my family.. i was so frustrated, so sad, so...... *sigh* i really don't know what went wrong.. sometimes i even cried when i think about it.. not even my wife knew about this.. some people told me to just go to his house and pay him a visit.. but, for me, after all my effort, and suddenly he dumped me just like that, i think better if i let him be.. he got his own family.. and it's already been 2 years since the news of him coming back to Malaysia, and still, i have not received any phone calls, any emails from him.. no news at all.. nothing.. so, i lost him for the second time....

n i missed him so much.. and it hurts so bad.. it's not that he's dead that i can't see him anymore.. he is there, but i just can't meet him.. i knew he is there.. but....

how i envy those people that have their father to love them while they grew older.. and how i envy those people who have lost their father as they know they won't be hurt anymore of the fact of losing their father.. maybe some of u might say, it's worst if your father have died especially when u're young.. in my case, it's just like u see something that u love or want so much just within reach, but no matter how hard u tried, u know that u can never grab it.. and it hurts with every attempt to reach it..

and everytime people asked me, "how is your father..??" i would just burst into tears.. but i have to control myself.. even my mother has found someone else, my step father, to me, he is there just for my mother.. just to make sure my mother is happy, secured, and will not be sad ever again.. and i'll sure of that..

so, what i'm try to write here is that if u do appreciate something in your life, do try your best to hold on to it.. it could be anything.. living thing, or even non living things.. u just don't know when those thing would disappear from u.. that's why i tried so hard to make sure my wife is happy with me, my friends are all knew that i would be there for them, my family could depends on me when they're in need.. it's occay if i'm all tormented inside, as long as i could see smiles on everyone's faces..

me..?? still wearing all my laughter, smiles, and joyous mask everyday.. deep inside me..?? no one knew.. some lines from Kid Rock 'Only God Knows Why'..

People don't know bout the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit that I've been through

i've even tried to be in solitude.. just to make sure i won't be so depressed when i have to lose anything.. i tried to get away from my friends as i have lost lots of best friends due to misunderstanding and such and sometime i even think that i have a jinx that i can't have any best friends.. i tried not to take care of any more cats as pets as i can't bear the sadness to let them go when they are on their last breath.. and to my wife, Kecheq, that's why my usual answer when u ask for my opinions, all i said was "up to u, Kecheq".. i would hate it if i would made the wrong action or decision that can lead to me ended up losing u..

thank you for your time to read this.. it's been a while since my last long posts.. i'm sorry if u have headaches reading this.. but i think i have to let it out.. it has been too tormenting for me to keep it inside of me..

oh yeah.. if anyone wants to comment, do leave something good instead of something that can hurt anyone else.. if u don't have anything good to say, keep it to yourself.. there's no use to provoke other people as i know u won't like it if someone else provokes u..

Don't open your mouth if u can't say anything nice to other peoples' ears..
-akeys-

Turn Left, Turn Right..

hmm.. it's a movie title from Hong Kong in the year 2003.. it was aired on the local tube around that year, and dunno how (or why), i watched it.. but i think i didn't watched it from the start.. so, i downloaded the movie as i thought it was kind of a good movie..
but, dunno how (and why), suddenly i watched it today.. after about 5 years it's been in my pc.. heh..
anyway, just thought of sharing some part of the lines from that movie..

If two people meet and
they both fall in love,

that's destiny for sure.

If neither loves the other,

even if they meet millions of times,
it's still not destiny!

If one's in love and the other isn't,

and the one who's in love grabs
on and won't let go

while the other just wants to run away,

not only is it not destiny...
it's pain..

hmm.. nothing to comment, just think for a while.. and let your thought torments u..

tormenting stares..

hmm.. dunno why, almost every time me n wife were hanging out, people would stare at us.. not that we were making this up, it was so true.. even while we're walking along the sidewalk, people from opposite direction would stare at me or my wife.. at first, i was thinking that maybe they were just astonish that i am tall.. heh.. but, dunno why, the one who stares are mostly from opposite sexes.. maybe, they were thinking that we're celebrity lookalike.. hehehe.. no, I'm not making these up.. there were couple of time people ask me, aren't u an actor..?? heh..
there was some time that while me, my wife and my brother was having a tea at some mamak restaurant, the waiter suddenly making a statement that i look like some Tamil actor.. WHAT..?? *damn*.. and there was a time while me n wife was hanging out at Bukit Bintang, i accidentally cut my finger at the 7-Eleven in below the monorail station, and i asked for a medical plaster from the attendant.. he stared at me for a while, and only then he gave me what i want.. outside of the 7-Eleven, while i tried to put on the plaster, my wife told me that i should clean the cut first before putting the plaster on.. and she went back inside the 7-Eleven to buy a mineral water.. when she got back to me, she was laughing.. she said that the attendant ask her "Abang tu artis yea..?? (that man is an artist, right..??)" and we burst into laughter.. maybe i should went back in and gave that boy an autograph..
so, what i did is, i try to avoid making eye contacts.. but sometimes, i would just stare back at them.. well, i talk to Kecheq about this issue.. i thought i was the only one.. and she said that it happens to her also.. heh.. and i asked her, what is the best thing to do (if someone stared at u).. she said that, if i try to avoid the eye contact, it shows that i like what those people are doing to me.. staring that is.. something like 'menggedik'.. heh.. so, what she told me to do is to stare back at them and (by using my eyes) ask them "WHAT DO U WANT..??" heh.. to me, it's kinda hard to do, as one of my weakness is making eye contact.. it's so hard for me to make eye contact even while i'm having a conversation with someone.. if i manage to make one, it's a big accomplishment for me.. heh..
me n Kecheq finally came up with something.. if someone stares at either one of us, we should notify the each other to show what kind of fan we have with a safe word.. heh.. and the word is 'Pineapple'.. lol.. got that word from a tv series 'Chuck' as a safe word for emergency.. and we started to use that plan.. while we're hanging out at Midvalley yesterday, a few Pineapple occasion occurs.. heh.. it was funny actually to implement that word to our conversation at first.. but, it went good.. we manage to take a look at our each other fans.. just for having a laugh..
owh.. if u guys still didn't know, Malaysians has been labeled as the people who like to stares.. the label has been given by the tourist who feel awkward with some Malaysians.. so Malaysians, stop staring please..