akeys HTPC.. part 1

hmm.. after two months of patience due to the tight budget n such, i've completed my latest project.. well, not really latest as i'm already planning of new project..

my htpc is finally complete.. err.. 80% of it actually.. as i still looking for some way to buy myself an LCD TV.. maybe a 32" only..

here's the spec of my HTPC..

Pentium 4 3.0Ghz
1.5Gb DDR 3200 RAM
120Gb PATA HDD (thinking of adding a 300Gb SATA HDD later)
256Mb DDR Graphic Card
DVD Writer

and here's the picture of it..

the case.. my wife bought it for me as one of my anniversary gift.. thank you kecheq..!!

the inside view.. i've switched the original PSU with my own PSU (black colour) as it have more connectors..

the new Intel 'processor'.. Oyen 8.0Ghz.. heh.. he just love to be inside the casing..

oyen inside my other pc casing..

the real 'brain' inside my htpc..

the standing view..
hmm.. still haven't installed windows MCE (media center edition) yet on this htpc.. getting tired and sleepy already.. it's nearly 0130.. n Along planned to go to Malacca (my wifes' hometown) tomorrow.. n got a lot of things to do tomorrow morning.. hmm.. maybe after i get back from Malacca tomorrow night i'll install the OS and give my htpc its first run.. heh.. cant wait..

anniversary..

well, in an hour, it'll be me n my wife's 2nd year anniversary.. yeay for us..
it has been 24 months of ups and downs.. 104 weeks of good and bad time for us.. but of course, i cherish every moments of it.. every seconds of it..

to Kecheq, i hope that we can celebrate another 19th of December together.. a hundred more maybe.. heh.. of course with our little O-Ren Ishii (oyen) and those little hamsters of yours.. and thank you for being there for me whenever i need someone to hold, someone to share my dreams with, someone that i can tell my problems with, someone to share my laughter and most importantly, someone to call 'my wife'..

thank you Allah for giving me a chance to spend my life with my wife and giving me enough strength and patience to hold our marriage..

and thank you to everyone that has been supporting our marriage throughout these years.. thank you so much.. i hope that all your prayers for our relationship to last til our last breath will always continues..

love u Kecheq..

true love..?? part 2..

well, here i goes again..

in a relationship of true love, as i said before, u could never and should never change your partner.. as same goes to yourself.. just be yourself.. as a typical advice to anyone that trying to go to their first date, "just be yourself".. in this case, it really a tough job actually to deal with someone new in your life.. their attitude, their pros n cons.. but still, the power of love can do anything..

to me, in a true love relationship, the main core of that relationship is 'trust'.. as long as u trust your partner, u could be in love forever and ever.. well, not forever actually, as u would die someday.. heh.. if the trust is so strong, one would never lie to their partner.. u could never act as someone else while being with your partner.. u dont have to lie to them where u had been, what u have done, who u have been with..

me..?? i trust my wife whole heartedly.. i would never ask her who's been calling her phone, who have just 'sms'ed her, where she have been, who she goes out to lunch with n such.. as long as i trust her, the jealousy wont be in my heart towards her.. yeah, i know that if i love her, i should be jealous as the ol' Malay folks says 'cemburu tandanya sayang' (jealousy means love).. when some male students trying to get close to her, 'sms'ing her, calling her phone, i just kept telling myself, it's part of her daily job.. it's her profession as a lecturer to deal with students no matter male or female.. it's hard actually to train myself to accept that, but, i think i manage to let the jealousy go.. i dont like being asked who have just called my phone, who have just 'sms' me n such.. and as i said before, treat someone the way u want them to treat u..

to tell u guys the truth, while i was in my teenage years, i was not the same me now.. i was selfish, arrogant, self centered and some other negative aspects.. i think i've talk about it before.. somehow, i dont know what came to me, i changed.. i trained myself see from other peoples' view.. in every decisions i made, i would think about how it will affects other peoples' life..

back to the topic, it would a heaven for a relationship with true love.. there would be no lies, no jealousy, no quarrels.. maybe some of said it wont be true.. it wont happen.. even u're madly in love with someone.. heh.. actually, that's y people says that they have never been in true love.. they would just say it to soothes their partners' feelings..

nobody is perfect.. that's y relationship ends.. another mythical theory indeed.. i'm not saying myself is perfect, a saint or what.. it's just that in a relationship, u should have a lot of tolerances.. if u cant stand your partner, just play along.. if your partner is in bad mood, dont try to be a hero to calm them down.. just let them be.. nothing u can do actually to help them.. u cant go scolding your partners' boss if they have been scolded by their boss.. u cant change anything.. n u cant share their problem actually.. the point of view is totally different.. u cant expect someone to totally agree with u.. all u can do is to cheer them up instead of agreeing and saying bad things about their boss.. dont be a firestone to show them that u care.. and when there's a misunderstanding between both of u, instead of looking at their negative sides, try to look for all the things your partner have done for u.. all the time your partner have sacrifies to be beside u even they have to be somewhere else, all the things they have done for instead of doing other things, how they put u in top priority on top of a lot of other things.. from my point of view, i saw a lot of mistakes has been done by some peoples each time they had a misunderstanding with their partner.. dont know why.. is it so easy to let all those time together just because of 5 minutes of quarrel..?? there are a lot of other ways to settle their problems, but they have just go their separated ways to make sure no one is hurting.. yeah right.. like u going to be happy living all alone after all those time knowing someone is there beside u.. think about it please.. try it.. think of all those good times.. all of those even little things your partner have done for u before u decide to let your anger takes control..

well, i'm not trying to say that my life is perfect.. i cant say anything to change the world.. i'm currently living a normal life with my wife.. trying so hard to make sure my wife is happy spending her time with me.. trying so hard to make sure my wife is comfortable having me beside her.. i'm not perfect as i know that somehow, somewhere, someone may be saying bad words about me.. all i can do is just making my effort to make sure people around me will always be happy knowing me.. hope anything i said wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable as they're only my tormented thoughts..

true love..??

hmm.. well, i know it's not a common thing for me to write about this, but i think i just need people to know and think about it for a second..

i just watched some talk show about some celebrities discussing on the meaning of 'true love'..

well, in most movies, as the popular romantic movies such as 'Sleepless in Seattle' n such, it's all about true love.. hmm.. in the end, the character would find their true love.. n logically, we aren't living based on scripts (though i wish i could).. nobody can expect what people around u would do in the future.. heh.. no one can predict what kind of situation u might be in in the next few seconds..

what is love actually..?? many people says that they know what is love.. they claimed that they have experienced it before.. or currently in one.. not that i'm saying that they're wrong, still, can anyone define love.. to me, love is something that u cant define in any word or words.. it happens just like that.. if someone says that love is a feeling u had for someone u cherish, well, to me that is just another feeling that u have in opposite of hate.. i cant explain it very well in english, but in malay, there's a difference between 'cinta' and 'sayang'..

as a analytical person (some of u should notice thru my previous posts), i give u an example.. while walking around somewhere, sometime, and suddenly u saw someone (opposite sex or even same sex hehe).. and u feel some 'electricity' flows within your veins and somehow, u're numb for words.. u feel like that person is the one for u.. but.. heh.. what actually do u want from that person..?? a relationship that last for a long time..?? a one night stand..?? to hold their hand while walking together..?? to show off in front of your friends..?? or just to be notice..?? u would say that it was 'love at first sight'.. but actually have u ever think of it..?? what happen if u said 'hi' to that person..?? what happens next..?? or do u just 'well, life goes on'.. heh..

a lot of people mistakes or should i say abuse the word 'love' for 'lust'.. when they meet someone new, in a situation above, if everything goes fine, for some reason, they would end up in bed together.. some even might ask their partner especially those unmarried couple to prove their love by 'making love'.. that is not love..!! that is lust..!! in the end, if the relationship ended, the same ol' dialogue will be repeated over and over again.. "i gave him (occasionally) my trust, my love, everything.. but he dump me.. if i knew, i would be doing (or give him) anything..!!" lol.. come on la.. if u knew something would happen, u wouldnt be together at all.. and even if u dont know wether your partner will be the last face u'll be looking at before u die, u shouldn't gave urself to them before marriage..

another simple question that i would like to ask u guys.. IS YOUR PARTNER YOU'RE TRUE LOVE..?? hehe.. that's a question that is somehow many people would answer 'yes'.. of course the answer would change a few years later or maybe a few months later when the relationship ends.. heh.. if the relationship stays til your last breathe, congratulation to both of u.. anyway, how can i congratulate dead people..?? lol.. n how can u make sure after u died, your partner wont be looking for a replacement..?? heh.. back to the question.. the answer depends actually.. if the question was asked in front of their partner, or even the partner might know your answer, of course 'yes' would be coming out of your mouth.. and here is a trick to anyone.. before asking them this question, try to ask them "who is your dream woman/man..?? lol.. i bet a lot of people would be trapped..

another thing that i noticed people would do for 'love'.. a big mistake actually.. a lot of people would change for their partner to make sure the relationship stays.. some people quits smoking due to their partner cant stand smokers.. some people stops from clubbing due to respect for their partner that cant stand someone who love to clubbing.. some man buys makeup for their partner by using the lame excuses such as "u look good in this".. yeah right.. if you love your partner, why ask them to wear a mask..?? heh.. n why quit smoking for someone who cant accept who u are..?? if he/she didnt like u smoking, find someone else.. in the end, if something happens to your relationship, u will go back and become smokers again.. am i right..?? i saw a lot of this cases.. while they're in a relationship, they tried to an angel to make sure their partner is happy.. but i call this 'acting'.. as i said before, when things go wrong, u will go back to the ol' u.. and sometimes in a relationship, we accidently tried to change our partner.. u asked them to change their hairstyle, u ask them not to become close to the opposite sex due to jealousy n such.. well, in a relationship, u have to accept someone as they are.. dont change them.. and the most important thing is TRUST.. for me, i love the phrase 'if u love someone, let it free.. if they are meant for u, they will come back to u'.. u cant change people.. instead of changing someone to suit your needs, u bend with them.. that's what i learn from 'The Matrix'.. the true meaning for the tagline "dont try to bend the spoon.. instead, it's u that bends.. that there is no spoon.."

relationship, love is not a cage.. not a barrier.. not a burden.. they are suppose to be beautiful.. smiling faces everywhere.. even u've been busy in the office, by the time u meet up with your partner, u should smile.. forgets all the problems, all the misery.. if u mix up your career and your relationship, it wont go far.. i bet u would end up lonely.. no matter how hard your day was, your partner shouldnt be the place to let go all of your problems.. they are not supposed to be a punching bag.. i know that in a relationship, u should carry your partners' burden together.. yerp.. it's true.. but it was supposed to be like this.. after all the hard days of datelines, being scolded by the boss, unsatisfied clients, u CAN tell your partner all of those things.. but u CANT involve them in your problem.. if u had a problem with clients, it doesnt involve your partner.. they are supposed to be a listener.. dont force them to dive into your problems.. i think u guys should knew that if u mix up your external problems into your relationship, u guys could ruin the day or even spoils your partners' mood.. n u can always listens to your partners' problems, but u cant interfere.. u can give suggestion, but cant force them to accept it..

actually, there's a lot of things to talk about love.. there's the positive side, negative side, and even the side effects.. heh.. after this, dont ask me wether i'm in true love or what.. dont ask me wether my wife is my true love or not.. i will give a 'smackdown' to anyone who ask me that question.. heh..

another great phrase that i learned from somewhere, "love is not sowed on farms.. they grew like weeds in fields.." then again, it's just my another tormented thoughts..