Tormented Soul

july 2009 updates..

2009-07-17T12:43:00.002+08:00

hmm.. it's been a while..

there's a lots of events struck me n my surrounding these past months..

anyway, to kecheq, thank you so much for having 'that person'.. i love u so much, and i can't tell u how grateful i am right now.. how i wish i could take all your pain away from u, how i wish that i'm the one in pain instead of u.. but all i can do is listen.. and care.. and good luck with your new place..

there are some new resolutions that i need to achieve as soon as possible.. wish me luck..

to my toys, do serve your new owner as good as u have served me.. it's been thrilling, and i'm sorry for not spending enough time with some of u.. and sorry that i have to let u guys go and had replace u..

to D, i know it's has been more than 10 years, but it has to stop now.. u have been a good friend to me, u have accompanied me through my ups and downs, you are the first one i look for when i'm depressed.. but, i have to take care of someone new.. thank you so much for what u have done for me..

referring to my previous posts, hmm.. i'm a bit sad as i can't change the world..
well, who am i to change the world..??
i've done my part.. i've tried my best.. but still, a stone will still be a stone.. no matter how beautiful a sculpture has been carved from a stone, people will always say that "it's still a stone".. u can change the outer layer, but u can't change the foundation..

something to note about.. and all i can say is, i have my own stand.. but it really hurts to see the outcome.. now, i could see the actual faces that has been hiding for all these years.. before this, my ears have tried to persuade me to believe, but my heart said give them some chances.. but then, bits by bits, my heart started to believe.. and now, my brain understands.. and my thought is saying, good luck to u.. 0

hope u know who u have hurt..
hope u realize who are u kissing right now..
hope u like the taste of the saliva that u once spit out..
hope u are happy with your current and future lifestyle..
hope u know the one u kiss is kissing someone u despise behind u..
hope u know when u stab the knife, there's already a knife at your back..

remember the time when u're getting pulled into the quicksand, whose hand did u hold on to..?
remember the time when u need somebody to listen to you, whose ears did u talk to..?
remember the time, when u're in need, whose legs are running to help u..?
remember the time when u're depressed, whose heart told u not to worry..?

but whatever it is.. the world nowadays has make people to live in survival mode..
peoples are often to forgets..
peoples are so hard to appreciate..
peoples are easy to hate..

if u wanna know the answer, try to think about,
whose number u has just removed from your 'speed dial list' on your phone..?
whose name that u has just (maybe nearly) removed from your contact list..?

it is that easy to remove someone from your life.. right..? the fact is, as i said before this, it is easy to forgets all the good deeds someone has done for u, but it is hard to forgets a simple bad deed that someone has just done to u..

i do realize that i have hurt some people.. i do realize that i have fuck up a lot.. i do realize some people cried to their sleep because of me.. all i can do is apologizes.. but, as i said,
good deeds are like stick-on-notes, they tend to stick for a while,
bad deeds are like engraving, it's nearly impossible to remove it..

looks like i am meant to be tormented.. hopefully, it can all be better soon.. i hope..

my iPhone 3G experience.. legally in Malaysia..

2009-04-03T09:53:00.005+08:00

it's been 2 weeks since my wife, Kecheq, bought me an iPhone 3G.. legally.. it was part of our deal for birthday gift(s) for each other.. she bought me an iPhone 3G, and i bought her a brand new Nikon D60 plus my ol' 32Gb iPod Touch.. heh.. we enrolled with the Maxis iPhone package called iValue as currently, Maxis is the only LEGAL sole distributor for iPhone 3G in Malaysia..

anyway, just to share some experience with u guys about iPhone 3G in Malaysia..

as soon as i got my iPhone, i was thinking of what to do with the new postpaid line that we have to register in order to get the iPhone.. we enrolled to the iValue1 which is Kecheq have to pay RM2290 for the phone, and me paying RM200 deposit and the monthly commitment charges of RM100 for one year.. i'm too lazy to notify everyone in my contact list that i've a new mobile number, and i hate to let go of my current mobile number.. all i can think of is, i can just kept the new Maxis number unused.. i can stay with my current number so that people dont have to update my number in their phonebook.. 1 problem half solved..

secondly, as soon as i swap the SIM card (from Maxis to Celcom), i thought there will be no problem.. as i tried to migrate all my contacts from my Dopod D810 phonebook, i've messed up.. i was informed that i can transfer all my contacts using Ms Outlook.. so, first thing i have to do is to sync my contacts from my D810.. i configured my D810 and my laptop at home, and as soon as the sync progressed, i noticed something.. ActiveSync didnt show the number of contacts that are being sync to my Outlook.. as it finished, there's nothing on my Outlook.. s**t.. something's wrong.. when i checked my D810, all the contacts are gone..
trying to keep myself calm, i look for the backup files on my storage card.. the last backup was September 2008 (as i'm too lazy to backup my phone).. hmm.. better than nothing, so, i restored the September backup and all i have in my phonebook is the number prior to that time.. i've lost all the latest entry up to March 2009.. *sigh*..
what happened was i forgot to change the option on my D810's ActiveSync.. the option of 'if there is a conflict: replace the item on my device'.. *sigh*.. i changed it to 'keep the item on my device' and sync it again.. and there's no problem afterwards.. and i set all the numbers with international code for Malaysia (+6) so that it would be organized..

as i've been using iPod Touch before and the GUI is just the same, there's no problem to personalise my iPhone.. and so i thought.. heh.. i noticed something wrong.. when someone called me on my phone, their names didn't show up.. it only showed their number as if they are not in my phonebook.. at first, i thought maybe because i have lost a few of my contacts due to my migrating mistake.. but when a person texted me, their name showed up.. hmm.. as i tested Kecheq's phone to call my phone, her name didn't show up.. occay.. something is wrong.. i searched on Google, there's a few people who had the same problem, but it's not in Malaysia.. they had some problem with localization.. so, i tried to configure my iPhone to Malaysia, but there's no option for Malaysia.. hmm.. and if i remove the +6 on my contacts, their name showed up when they call me, but if they text me, only their number showed up.. maybe because Malaysia has just participate in iPhone world tour, so, Malaysia hasn't been added to their database..
and the only possible solution i can think of is to jailbreak my iPhone.. actually, i dont want to jailbreak my iPhone.. but, i can think of nothing else for this problem.. so, i ended up jailbreaking my iPhone that night.. and using Cydia, i installed the patch for this problem.. i cant remember the name of that patch, but it helps.. my problem is solved.. i think maybe after the iPhone OS 3.0 update, i wont have to jailbreak my iPhone as the problem would be solve..

and as i had to jailbreak, i have done a few customization.. here's the screenshot of my iPhone 3G interface..

eventhough i've jailbreak my iPhone, believe me that i havent installed any pirated/cracked application on my iPhone.. every apps was downloaded from Apps Store wether it's a free or paid version..

why pay for apps as i've jailbroken my iPhone..?? u might be asking that question..
one thing i noticed.. if u bought any apps in Apps Store, your purchase will be recorded in iTunes database.. so, if anything happens to your phone or in case u change to another iPhone, u can re-download the apps u've already purchase for free.. u dont have to pay for the same app..
and if u installed a pirated/cracked apps, in my experience *cough* (on my Ipod Touch), u wont get any updates for that apps.. so, there's a lot of advantages of buying legitimate apps for your iPhone.. and another thing.. actually, i didnt try it yet, in my case of having iPod Touch and iPhone, if u bought the apps from Apps Store using one account, u can installed it on both device.. cool.. i dont know wether someday Apple would change this rule, but i hope they wont.. heh..

and about my 'have to register' Maxis postpaid number, i thought of a use for it.. the Maxis plan comes with 500mb of data usage as i have to pay RM100 every month for 1 year.. so, using my D810, i installed a software call WMWIFIRouter to turn my D810 into a wifi router on the go.. cool eh..?? what it did is my D810 has been configured using that software so it would connect to Maxis 3G coverage.. so, my D810 has become a portable WIFI router for me.. i can surf the internet, and such everywhere, anywhere (as long as there's Maxis 3G coverage) without using my Celcom postpaid.. so, i will be using the RM100 that i have to pay, and still save on my Celcom number.. but a few features on the iPhone requires me to connect directly using my Celcom 3G, such as Maps, as the GPS chip on the iPhone is AGPS which requires 3G connection to pinpoint my location.. *sigh*

OS 3.0 update.. hmm.. can't wait for it.. the only feature i really want so bad is the A2DP.. time to go for wireless entertainment again..
MMS..?? not for me.. hate MMS..
more push email.. i really hope Apple would change that.. currently, there's only two push email.. MobileMe and Exchange.. and u can only create one (yeah, one) Exchange account on iPhone.. please change that..

i think that's all for now.. update on my life..?? maybe next post.. in 3 or 4 months time.. hehehe..

iphone 3g in malaysia..

2009-03-12T08:11:00.004+08:00

finally, iphone 3g arrived in malaysia legally.. thanx to maxis..

to mede.. still wanna buy my dopod..?? hehe..

4th anniversary..

2008-12-23T08:06:00.002+08:00

err.. i didn't had the chance to blog lately, as i was a bit busy (and lazy)..
but just wanna let you guys know, that it was me n Kecheq 4th anniversary last Friday (December 19th).. and thank you keng for the early wish.. heh..
actually, i got a game of futsal that Thursday night, and it was supposed to start at 2300.. so, the game would finish at 0000 (December 19th).. i was thinking on how to celebrate the anniversary with my wife, and i came up with an idea of surprising her..
on Thursday, i asked a favor from a friend who lived near the futsal centre (Sports Planet Ampang), to buy a cake from Secret Recipe.. i told him to bring the cake to the game that night, and i'll try my best to persuade Kecheq to come along to the game that night.. Kecheq usually don't want to follow as she will be bored during my futsal match.. and there's a lot of interesting tv series on Astro on Thursday nights..
i tried my best not to blow the surprise for Kecheq as me and my friend are talking in codes about the plan.. but, i think she had some clues on what will happen that night.. heh..
somehow, she agreed to accompany me to the game.. i acted normal and so did my friends.. i've already told everyone who came that night about the plan of surprising my wife, and luckily, everyone was sporting.. thanks guys..
exactly at 0000, me and Jamal went to retrieve the cake that has been kept inside his car.. by the time i approached Kecheq, she said "I've knew it..!!" hehe.. she told me that she sensed something.. she thought it was a bit weird as me and friends are talking in codes, how i insisted her to come along and such.. heh..
and after the game, i forced everyone to have some bite of the cake.. all the adrenaline after the game, plus a bit of cheese cake, i knew it would be a disaster.. heh.. luckily no one vomited..

on the anniversary day, me n Kecheq went to Midvalley Megamall for a brunch at Madam Kwan.. the food there was occay (for me), but i think the price was insane.. a plate of 'sambal udang petai' was RM20+..!! Kecheq told me that the portion would be big, but as it arrived, damn it was a disappointment.. and i was mumbling as we ate.. heh.. and i told myself, if the bill is more the RM100, i'll never eat there again.. not that i'm broke or something, but i hate the overcharging.. i'm occay if that portion of sambal udang petai was charged at RM10+, as there's only 6 pieces of small shrimps and the rest was petai.. luckily, the bill was only at RM70++.. hmm.. not bad.. and truthfully, i'm still unsatisfied.. heh..

anyway, just wanna wish my wife, Kecheq, Happy 4th Anniversary.. and Happy 4th Birthday to Oyen.. and thank you Along Amin for giving me a Timex Heart Rate Monitor watch.. i'm sure i'll fully utilize it.. it's work out time.. got to have six packs before err.. someday.. hehehe..

tormented.. part 4..

2008-12-04T11:18:00.002+08:00

hmm..
those phrase has really left me some deep impact.. back in the old days, the 'selfish' me doesn't really care for my surrounding. but all is just about me and myself.. i don't appreciate a lot of things and yet, when they've gone, only then i know how much they're meant to me..

some people nowadays, and i don't know why, are too selfish to think about others.. as long as they can get what they need, they don't want to think about how their action can affect other people/things..

for instance, the current issue of using 'fatwa' to ban something.. in my country, they have succeeded to ban Yoga.. the reason for the ban..?? they said that yoga uses some kind of chant to praise Hindu's so called Lords and such.. i don't use the term God as there no other God but Allah.. i'm really surprised bout the decision, as i know somehow those melody that has been used in yoga are not all about appraising their Lords.. the main purpose for the melody are for meditation and somehow relaxing.. but then, all i can say is, they should have known better.. even in Islams' teaching, there's one saying.. and somehow, i can't find the right words in English, but it goes something like this..

Janganlah kamu menghalalkan sesuatu yang haram, dan janganlah kamu mengharamkan sesuatu yang halal..

hope someone can translate it to English.. anyway, somehow as they manage to ban yoga, currently they're trying to ban smoking ciggies n such using the power of fatwa.. hmm.. as i have wrote in my previous post in this blog, somehow, i think they are not thinking too deep about this issue.. don't they know currently smokers are one of the main contributors for the national taxes..?? we (smokers) pay our taxes everyday by buying a pack of ciggies..

and as i wrote before.. what happens if everyone in this country suddenly stop buying any cigarettes..?? Malaysia could lost millions of ringgit.. and what can the ministers do to avoid this..?? i bet they would increase the price of everything to compensate all the lost.. and i bet at that time, everyone would felt differently for the ex-smokers..

hmm.. that's the current issue.. in everyday life, i still trained myself not to neglect anyone or anything as i know somehow, someday, they can disappeared from my life in an instance.. my family (my wife, oyen n taupe, my parents and everyone that i can call 'family'), my friends, my assets, my career and such.. actually, i have lost something that are very precious to me for the second time in my life.. my biological father..

my parent was divorced when i was two and a half years old.. i grew up without a father's love.. my father do came and visit me and my siblings every months for a mere 2-3 hours.. but after i finished my studies, i tried to become close to him as i try to get a job quite near to him.. that's one of the reason my workplaces are mostly located in the middle of KL.. i tried to free up some time to have lunch with my father, hang out at his office during my free time.. but it all changes when he got an offer to work in Nigeria.. i was quite shocked about his decision, but i still have to respect it.. i tried so hard to help him to get through all the necessity and preparation for him for his departure.. at that time also, me and my girlfriend (currently my wife) are planning to get married.. we were actually planned to have the wedding on June 2005, but after we knew that my father will be leaving around end of December 2004, i decided to have the wedding on the middle on December 2004.. but still, after all my effort to make sure he will be there on my wedding day, i found out that he have to leave early.. he departed to Nigeria on November.. i was so frustrated....

and while he was in Nigeria, i tried to keep in touch with him.. and some time, when he got the chance to return to Malaysia, i tried to spend some time with him.. but, i don't know why, or when, suddenly i got the news from someone else that my father already quits his job at Nigeria.. and he has return to Malaysia.. without notifying any of my family.. i was so frustrated, so sad, so...... *sigh* i really don't know what went wrong.. sometimes i even cried when i think about it.. not even my wife knew about this.. some people told me to just go to his house and pay him a visit.. but, for me, after all my effort, and suddenly he dumped me just like that, i think better if i let him be.. he got his own family.. and it's already been 2 years since the news of him coming back to Malaysia, and still, i have not received any phone calls, any emails from him.. no news at all.. nothing.. so, i lost him for the second time....

n i missed him so much.. and it hurts so bad.. it's not that he's dead that i can't see him anymore.. he is there, but i just can't meet him.. i knew he is there.. but....

how i envy those people that have their father to love them while they grew older.. and how i envy those people who have lost their father as they know they won't be hurt anymore of the fact of losing their father.. maybe some of u might say, it's worst if your father have died especially when u're young.. in my case, it's just like u see something that u love or want so much just within reach, but no matter how hard u tried, u know that u can never grab it.. and it hurts with every attempt to reach it..

and everytime people asked me, "how is your father..??" i would just burst into tears.. but i have to control myself.. even my mother has found someone else, my step father, to me, he is there just for my mother.. just to make sure my mother is happy, secured, and will not be sad ever again.. and i'll sure of that..

so, what i'm try to write here is that if u do appreciate something in your life, do try your best to hold on to it.. it could be anything.. living thing, or even non living things.. u just don't know when those thing would disappear from u.. that's why i tried so hard to make sure my wife is happy with me, my friends are all knew that i would be there for them, my family could depends on me when they're in need.. it's occay if i'm all tormented inside, as long as i could see smiles on everyone's faces..

me..?? still wearing all my laughter, smiles, and joyous mask everyday.. deep inside me..?? no one knew.. some lines from Kid Rock 'Only God Knows Why'..

People don't know bout the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit that I've been through

i've even tried to be in solitude.. just to make sure i won't be so depressed when i have to lose anything.. i tried to get away from my friends as i have lost lots of best friends due to misunderstanding and such and sometime i even think that i have a jinx that i can't have any best friends.. i tried not to take care of any more cats as pets as i can't bear the sadness to let them go when they are on their last breath.. and to my wife, Kecheq, that's why my usual answer when u ask for my opinions, all i said was "up to u, Kecheq".. i would hate it if i would made the wrong action or decision that can lead to me ended up losing u..

thank you for your time to read this.. it's been a while since my last long posts.. i'm sorry if u have headaches reading this.. but i think i have to let it out.. it has been too tormenting for me to keep it inside of me..

oh yeah.. if anyone wants to comment, do leave something good instead of something that can hurt anyone else.. if u don't have anything good to say, keep it to yourself.. there's no use to provoke other people as i know u won't like it if someone else provokes u..

Don't open your mouth if u can't say anything nice to other peoples' ears..
-akeys-

Turn Left, Turn Right..

2008-11-27T17:14:00.002+08:00

hmm.. it's a movie title from Hong Kong in the year 2003.. it was aired on the local tube around that year, and dunno how (or why), i watched it.. but i think i didn't watched it from the start.. so, i downloaded the movie as i thought it was kind of a good movie..
but, dunno how (and why), suddenly i watched it today.. after about 5 years it's been in my pc.. heh..
anyway, just thought of sharing some part of the lines from that movie..

If two people meet and
they both fall in love,

that's destiny for sure.

If neither loves the other,

even if they meet millions of times,
it's still not destiny!

If one's in love and the other isn't,

and the one who's in love grabs
on and won't let go

while the other just wants to run away,

not only is it not destiny...
it's pain..

hmm.. nothing to comment, just think for a while.. and let your thought torments u..

tormenting stares..

2008-11-03T08:52:00.002+08:00

hmm.. dunno why, almost every time me n wife were hanging out, people would stare at us.. not that we were making this up, it was so true.. even while we're walking along the sidewalk, people from opposite direction would stare at me or my wife.. at first, i was thinking that maybe they were just astonish that i am tall.. heh.. but, dunno why, the one who stares are mostly from opposite sexes.. maybe, they were thinking that we're celebrity lookalike.. hehehe.. no, I'm not making these up.. there were couple of time people ask me, aren't u an actor..?? heh..
there was some time that while me, my wife and my brother was having a tea at some mamak restaurant, the waiter suddenly making a statement that i look like some Tamil actor.. WHAT..?? *damn*.. and there was a time while me n wife was hanging out at Bukit Bintang, i accidentally cut my finger at the 7-Eleven in below the monorail station, and i asked for a medical plaster from the attendant.. he stared at me for a while, and only then he gave me what i want.. outside of the 7-Eleven, while i tried to put on the plaster, my wife told me that i should clean the cut first before putting the plaster on.. and she went back inside the 7-Eleven to buy a mineral water.. when she got back to me, she was laughing.. she said that the attendant ask her "Abang tu artis yea..?? (that man is an artist, right..??)" and we burst into laughter.. maybe i should went back in and gave that boy an autograph..
so, what i did is, i try to avoid making eye contacts.. but sometimes, i would just stare back at them.. well, i talk to Kecheq about this issue.. i thought i was the only one.. and she said that it happens to her also.. heh.. and i asked her, what is the best thing to do (if someone stared at u).. she said that, if i try to avoid the eye contact, it shows that i like what those people are doing to me.. staring that is.. something like 'menggedik'.. heh.. so, what she told me to do is to stare back at them and (by using my eyes) ask them "WHAT DO U WANT..??" heh.. to me, it's kinda hard to do, as one of my weakness is making eye contact.. it's so hard for me to make eye contact even while i'm having a conversation with someone.. if i manage to make one, it's a big accomplishment for me.. heh..
me n Kecheq finally came up with something.. if someone stares at either one of us, we should notify the each other to show what kind of fan we have with a safe word.. heh.. and the word is 'Pineapple'.. lol.. got that word from a tv series 'Chuck' as a safe word for emergency.. and we started to use that plan.. while we're hanging out at Midvalley yesterday, a few Pineapple occasion occurs.. heh.. it was funny actually to implement that word to our conversation at first.. but, it went good.. we manage to take a look at our each other fans.. just for having a laugh..
owh.. if u guys still didn't know, Malaysians has been labeled as the people who like to stares.. the label has been given by the tourist who feel awkward with some Malaysians.. so Malaysians, stop staring please..

just sharing..

2008-10-17T10:16:00.002+08:00

i really love this pic.. heh.. got this pic from tolan..

ipod or iphone

2008-09-28T11:42:00.002+08:00

hmm.. currently i'm still calculating whether to get myself an iPod Touch or iPhone 3G.. *sigh* price factor is one of the criteria.. someone offered (Sept 08) iPod Touch 8Gb @ RM800+, 16Gb @ RM1100+ and 32Gb @ RM1500+.. that's really cheap compared to the one the authorized resellers currently selling (RM1399, RM1799, RM1999).. and the iPhone 3G currently selling @ RM2700+ (8Gb) and RM3100+ (16Gb).. that's the AP version as iPhone didnt manage to spread their wings in Malaysia..
rumors says that MAYBE Maxis or Digi is thinking of bringing iPhone legally to Malaysia.. but as i said rumors, i still cant see Malaysian flag at the Apple iPhone's site for the 'coming soon' section.. heh..
this means if i get myself an iPhone, i cant do anything for a warranty.. but the iPod Touch is legally selling here in Malaysia, so there's no problems.. i could afford the Apple Care plan for the iPod Touch which is currently @ Rm219 (think so) for 2 years warranty..
for the feature comparison, iPod Touch has all the music and movie features.. including wireless LAN.. but a setback for me is it didnt have Bluetooth..!! damn.. no A2DP for me.. *sigh* and for iPhone, it has all the features the iPod has to offer, plus phone features, GPS and Bluetooth..!! hmm..
to make it worse, my current phone (Dopod D810) which i bought last year (Aug 07) @ RM2799, is currently tagged @ RM 700 - RM900 for second hand value.. *sigh again* as i said before, i should have not trust HTC.. no updates (Windows Mobile 6.1) for my model, the customer service sucks (ignore my inquiries @ Low Yatt Plaza), low second hand value..
i think that if i get myself an iPhone right now @ RM3k+, and then suddenly Maxis or Digi announce that they are bringing iPhone to Malaysia for less than RM1.5k, it would just kill me.. hmm.. i can stand their contract plan for two years as i have been using Maxis for more than 5 years (postpaid)..
another funny thing is that one of the local newspaper ask Maxis top guns whether they are bringing iPhone to Malaysia back in July 08, and the Maxis man said that they arent thinking of it, as (according to him) Apple didnt have plan to bring the phone to Asia.. lol.. ARE U STUPID..?? even Singapore have gotten the right to sell iPhone.. or maybe he thinks Singapore is not part of Asia..
if i can be a consultant to Maxis, i have lots of ideas for them to make lots of money.. i have thought of how Maxis can make an easy money from Malaysians.. but dunno why, their marketing team could not think at all.. all they have thought is sending spam to their customers, selling ringtones by SMS, sponsors major events but didnt make any profit out of the event (which they can make millions from it).. *sigh* even the iPhone can help Ananda Krishnan bought another cruise boat.. heh.. hey Maxis (or any other service providers)..!! do you guys want my ideas..?? but u guys need to pay me lor.. hehe..
maybe i can just wait for a while and buy myself iPod Touch for the mean time.. hmm..
my thoughts is tormenting me..

cycling trips..

2008-07-04T11:30:00.003+08:00

hmm.. pics from my second cycling trips..
venue : Wetland, Putrajaya..
type of ride : just cruising and stamina building..
wanna join us..?? hehe.. let's ride..
next trip, me n friends planning for a trip to FRIM.. but due to lack on informations about the trails, we're still doing our homework about the trails.. if u guys have any info about it, feel free to contact me.. leave a comment.. preferably, GPS maps..
thanks..

another hobby..

2008-05-02T10:57:00.003+08:00

sorry as it has been a while since i last update this blog.. dont wanna use any crappy excuses this time such as too lazy n such..
anyway, i've been riding since last month.. riding..?? heh.. after a good amount of poison from my bro-in-law (Along Amin), i bought myself a new Mountain Bike.. Merida Sub 40 D -Lady (huh..??).. a lady bike..?? well, the guy at the bicycle shop says that currently there's no limitation to lady or mens bike.. err, i believe him.. as i saw the pix of American women riders were as big as men.. will post some pix of my bike later..
i've been riding 2-3 times a week (uhuk) at night around 2200 at the apartment compound.. i manage to get 1.2km per round using a new route (previously 0.9km) and i manage to cycle minimum 5 km a session..
oh ya.. met someone who is a semi-pro rider who's living in the same apartment (but different block) and he promise me to train me about everything.. i think he's also excited to found out that someone can ride with him as he says currently he's riding alone from the apartment to an impossible destination for me such as Desa Waterpark, Astro, and even Genting Sempah.. that's more than 100km per ride..!! well, hope i can train with him as my true intention is to improve my stamina and not for racing purpose..
got to go.. need to print some pix of Elly's wedding before Friday prayers..
wish me luck on my new hobby.. heh..

my coming birthday..

2008-01-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

hmm.. my birthday is coming in 4 weeks.. plus minus.. well, here's my wish list for 2008..

Nikon telephoto zoom - Nikkor AF-S VR Zoom 70-300mm f/4.5-5.6 IF-ED.. (the VR version please)
Nikon MB-D80 Battery Pack for Nikon D80 DSLR
Nikon SB-800 i-TTL Flash
Nikon Zoom Super Wide Angle AF-S - Nikkor 14-24mm f/2.8G ED Autofocus Lens
50" Plasma TV Full HD (not HD Ready)

hmm.. to make everything easy, u can just drop me a bag of money.. heh.. maybe around USD500k would do.. then, i'll do the shopping myself..

anyway, there's not much interesting events for me lately..

first, my cousin engagement.. hmm.. at first, i was intended to do some trial photo shoots to learn new skills for that kind of events.. as i'm still learning to shoot.. still have lots to learn.. i just did some point and shoot, trying out some of the advices that i learned from the internet, and try to capture the best moments from the event.. at the end of the day, i print out the pics and hand it over to my uncle.. my uncle n wife loves the pics that me n wife took.. hmm..
all of a sudden, everybody is taking my new hobby seriously and ask me n wife to cover for the wedding on April 2008.. and now, I'm in some kind of dilemma whether to take the job given to me or not.. some of the tormenting thoughts is about the skills.. do i have the correct skills to cover a wedding ceremony..?? what happens if i mess up..?? i would not ask them to reorganize the event all over again.. and then, the price factor.. do i have to charge my uncle..?? if i do, how much..?? *sigh*.. it cost me around RM8k to buy all the gears i have now.. and it does not includes the cost for printing n such.. how am i going to propose the price to my uncle politely..?? hmm.. i guess that's why people says that never involve family in your business.. or something like that..

2nd.. me furthering study.. i haven't registered myself for this new semester yet.. too busy with the job.. yeah right.. i'm kind of waiting for last semester results.. and i was just browsing the web portal for OUM, and suddenly, the results are already out.. i was a bit surprise seeing that i got B's for most subjects.. i thought i would failed the semester as i was just remembering without understanding the facts.. and all the 'tembak menembak' in the exam.. dont know whether i should rush to OUM or not to register myself for the January semester.. hmm..

3rd.. went to Sungai Chongkak last week.. did some shooting.. hmm.. not much to say, just visit my flickr page for the results.. can't upload much as my internet connection sucks this week..

4th.. my internet connection sucks.. heh.. been thinking of changing to other ISP (internet service provider), but my tormenting thoughts told me that it won't do much..!! tmnet is currently monopolizing the isp as all the other isp in malaysia is using tmnet line as their backbone.. i found out about this from someone in tmnet.. hmm.. all i can do is just crossing my fingers and praying to Allah that everything would go fine.. Insya Allah..
the problem was all the same from the previous situation.. my connection was crawling slow, and sometime it would just went dead.. i have called tmnet helpline to report about my problem, and still hoping for something good to happen..

hmm.. dont have much to write.. as everything are just the same.. my tormenting thoughts are prohibited by my laziness to write.. heh..

and dont forget all those things on my list.. hehe..

Awal Muharram..

2008-01-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

hmm.. it's the new year again.. for Muslims around the world..
just wanna wish everyone, Happy New Year 2008 and 1429 H..
hope this year would bring more prosperity, healthy, peaceful life and all the positive value to everyone..
actually, the new year for Muslims starts @ the dusk.. so, it means, it's already 1429 H now in Malaysia.. i cant remember the actual doa' for the new year, but i still praying for a good new year for everybody..
Amin..

eye on malaysia

2007-12-28T08:46:00.001+08:00

i've updated my flickr page with some photo of the 'Eye on Malaysia' that i tool on the last Christmas night.. it was raining that evening.. i was a bit disappointed at first as i've been planning to shoot the 'Eye on Malaysia' with the new camera (Nikon D80).. but who can blame the weather..??
the rains stops around 1930.. so, me, my wife and my brother went to Titiwangsa.. there's a lot of people at Titiwangsa maybe due to the holiday season for Malaysian.. and also tourists..
me and my wife sets up our tripods (kecheq has inherited my D40x) and try to take the best shot as we could..
so, here's a few of the results..
u guys can view other pix at my flickr.. just follow the link from my sidebar..
oh yeah, i remembers that someone wins something from a photography competition taking a picture of the 'Eye on Malaysia' from the angle same as mine..
and i heard some rumors that the 'Eye on Malaysia' would be dismantle on the early 2008.. this is due to the one year only contract.. don't know whether it's true or not.. hopefully it's just another rumors.. it's a waste to see an RM30m construction for just a year lifespan.. hmm..

futsal inter staff

2007-12-17T10:13:00.000+08:00

last Saturday UniKL City Campus has organized a futsal tournament between the staff of city campus.. i was selected as one of the committee to organize the event.. well, based on the past experience, heh, i has promised myself not to participate in the committee whole heartedly.. as that's what they have done to me on the last event.. i was all alone doing the promoting, handling the registration, collecting the entry fees n such.. they were just carrying the name as the committee and doing nothing..
on the latest event, they tried to organized it properly.. saggregating the task to every committee.. and based on their respect to me (n my experience for the previous tournament), they have picked me to be one of the committee.. heh.. but then, on the first meeting, something ticked me off.. n i quote, "Based on the previous futsal tournament that WE organized......." WTF..?? we..?? who's we..?? who are the we that u're referring to..?? hmm..
anyway, the tournament went on smoothly.. err.. not really actually.. there's a bit of aggressiveness, changing words, intentional tackle and kicks, off the ball tackles.. and did i mention that this is a inter staff tournament..?? a tournament that u're playing with your offices' colleague..?? and i was forced to be the referee for some games.. heh.. what a mistake for me.. i have to yell to some of them, and luckily i dont have to produced a single card to banished them from the game.. and i heard one of them yelling "CHANGE THE REF..!!" due to dissatisfactions to the decision i made.. hehe..
and guess who won the tournament..?? hehehe..

akeys flicker..

2007-11-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

i've added some new pix on my flicker..
please view and comment..
just click on the flicker flash ad on the sidebar..
thanx..

november 2007 update..

2007-11-10T01:45:00.000+08:00

my life have been very hectic lately.. i guess that's my reason for not blogging in a while..
u guys already knew that currently i'm pursuing my degree in OUM.. part time as in twice a month on weekends.. for all i know, the total hours for each class is only 10 hours.. and there's assignment for each classes.. waaa..!! well, i've submitted 2 of 'em (on the very last minutes), and the next one is due tomorrow.. and i haven't started anything yet.. *sigh* i'm still trying to find some ideas on what to write in the assignment.. heh.. dont know what to 'goreng' at all..
my raya..?? hmm.. i would just like to say, a very eventful one.. lots of drama, lots of tear, lots of anger.. as always, i can only manage to stay calm and smile.. nothing i can do to change anything, so i better kept quiet.. all i can say is, keeping quite doesnt mean that i dont have anything to say.. i just dont want to hurt anyone as i dont want to be hurt.. hmm..
next topic, another toy has been added to my inventory.. heh.. psp 2000.. some of u might call it psp slim and lite.. if anyone ever ask me was it worth it to buy a psp, i would really say yes.. the reasons..?? first of all, it has the gaming function.. *duh* the other functions, really satisfied my need.. it can play mp3 (songs), mp4 (video), and even the picture viewer function.. the memory capacity is quite occay as currently i'm using the 4Gb memory stick.. still searching for the 8Gb MS in malaysia.. saw it on some overseas website, but the price they're offering, i can buy another psp unit.. heh.. the conclusion, it's a portable all in one media player.. and it have a good battery life..
my photography life, hmm, quite improving.. i think.. heh.. went to cameron highland last week.. and a some of my friends who saw the pix i took was quite impressed with my work.. if i got some time, and mood, i'll upload it on my flicker.. u guys can access my flicker at the sidebar by clicking the flash pix of oyen.. currently i'm thinking (still considering) of buying a new DSLR as i planned to give the current DSLR to my wife.. as she keep showing her interest on digital photography.. the first camera i gave her was not that impressive to be use to shoot a good pix.. a simple point and shoot type of camera.. i know that she was not too happy with that camera, but she kept it to herself.. i'll try everything to make u happy, kecheq..
hmm.. my assignment is still waiting for the first word.. see u guys next time..

home entertainment..

2007-09-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

my current home entertainment..
Astro (satellite tv), htpc (windows media center 2005), 2.1 speakers, 32" samsung lcd tv, PStwo, an IKEA table lamp and a lava lamp.. heh..
it should do enough for me now.. thank you all..
pic taken using Nikon D40X.. the flare from the flash (SB-600) was visible at the top of lcd tv.. even i tried to bounce it off the ceiling.. what a mistake..

new toys..

2007-09-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

hmm.. got myself a few toys for me to play with.. well, those toys has been in my wishlist for a long time.. didnt have the urge to buy it before due to tight budget n such, but now, i'm proud to have 'em..
first, i bought a Nikon D40x DSLR.. not a new one actually.. a second hand from a friend that has just been using it for 3 months.. his reason of selling..?? he wants to upgrade to the Nikon D300.. a few of my friend says that i should have wait for the D300, but i dont know wether i can fork out Rm6k for it.. so, better i f i buy the RM2k+ for the D40X for my first DSLR.. the features is nearly the same as D80, and some says it's better that it's predecessors such as D50.. 10.2MP DSLR for is more than i need for now.. been capturing Oyen's pix for a while using my D40X, and i'm quite satisfied with it..
next was my new 6 channel heli.. heh.. couldnt get the 7 channel heli for below than RM500 in malaysia.. dont know wether u guys have found it somewhere, but 6 channel for rm300+, who can resist..?? heh.. the first hour was a wrecked.. lol.. been trying out the transmitter.. trying to get to know all the buttons' functions.. there's the one button that i shouldnt play with.. the button to change from the normal function to reverse function.. what a big mistake.. the heli suddenly flew at maximum speed and hit one of the pc in my office.. lol.. i was petrified of what to do as i've already turned off the transmitter but the heli just kept going.. the tail blade had flew the opposite direction as it hits a cpu.. and i found out that the tail blade has already broken as it cant rotate anymore.. *sigh* but with a few DIY, i manage to make it work but not as good a before..
the next day, i tried to fly it at the play ground at my house.. the tail blade just didnt work.. and it was a big mistake to flew it at all.. in the end it crashed to the playground.. the heli was flying smoothly, but it suddenly tilted and somehow it just went to the ground.. at high speed.. *sigh*.. the main blade were broken into two.. the plastic rotor head were broken into pieces.. hmm.. maybe a trip to a toy shop would cost me around RM200 to fix 'em..
*sigh*

august update

2007-08-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

heh.. again.. the laziness wins.. but i will try to put up some updates in my life..
hmm.. first of all, i've registered myself @ Open University Malaysia for the Bachelor Degree program.. at last.. after all the dark memories of studying in higher education institutes in this country.. but i still have some doubts about this, but hey, it cant haunt me forever.. i just need to change my life.. for starters, get a certification to recognise my talents.. i've taken the Bachelor in IT and Management with Honours there.. and i manage to persuade one of my collegue to join me.. i wont be bored and i hope i can make him as one of the reasons to go to class.. i just knew that if i were to attend the class all alone, i would just lose the interest in a short time.. anyway, wish me luck..
and i just got myself a new toy.. yeay.. a PDA Phone.. Dopod D810.. actually, i was still wondering why did i buy this phone.. and i still feeling a little sceptical about this phone.. heh.. base on my experience (and a few encounters with Dopod earlier model users), the results were not that exciting... heh.. and logically, why must we trust a brand that still dont have the urge to came up with their own design til now..?? lol.. they are still copying other brand design such as O2.. that's my first impression of Dopod.. it's been a week now with my new toy, and i've found a little bit of flaw in this phone.. but i still can manage to withstand the minor problems such as phone freezing, lost GSM.. i'm just hoping that there's no more surprises come out from D810.. oh ya.. in CNet Australia review, Dopod 838 Pro is one of the top 5 PDA Phone.. and the promoters in Low Yatt says that it is currently the best selling phone there.. hmm..
one of my nephew, Billy, has also furthers his study in Bachelor Degree.. but he's doing it in Wisconsin, US.. oh, now i remembers.. the 'That 70's Show' is base there.. heh.. wishing u all the best.. hoping that we can both achieve our goals on the next 4 to 5 years..
owh.. my wife also has registered herself to further her studies.. she's taking her Masters in Education at the same place with me.. but she still haven't receieved her offer letter yet.. and a friend of mine (works at OUM as a Marketing Exec) said that she will get her offer letter in September.. i hope so.. all the best to u my wife..

hmm... that's all for now.. see u guys later..

tormented..?? part 3..

2007-06-18T12:12:00.000+08:00

i noticed that within these past few months i didn't post any of my tormenting thoughts.. heh.. maybe i was in a good mood.. or maybe i was too lazy to write while the thoughts were tormenting me.. lol..
and i noticed that lately i have been writing about tech more than the original concept of my tormented soul.. hmm..
if i want to organize my blog, i should have created another blog that i can write about tech instead of mixing it together in this blog..
but u know what..?? i'm too lazy.. lol..

may 07 update..

2007-05-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

what to update..

hmm.. i bought a playstation 2 last week.. at last.. the price was rm500 only (compared to last two years price about rm1k).. i know it's a bit late to buy a ps2, but then, the price is right and currently (as i was told by the seller) this version is more stable compared to the previous version.. he told me that the previous version cant be played more than 3 hours continously without proper cooling unit.. n i bought a light gun for my wife as she loves the shooting games.. but i was unlucky as the gun cant be use with lcd/plasma tv.. i have to find another gun that can shoot at my lcd tv.. currently, my wife has to shoot at the 14" crt tv in the bedroom.. imagine that.. shooting accuracy was poor due to the small screen.. heh.. i'll find u another gun to go with the lcd tv especially for u, kecheq..

since last two days, i've been undergoing a training course for mac osx helpdesk support essentials at damansara.. n tomorrow will be the last day as it is a 3 days course.. the instructor is doing a good job training for me.. n its quite nice to see a malay specialist (the instructur) spreading his knowledge to other people.. and he said that if i take the exam for this course (it will cost me usd100 = rm380) i'll be a certified mac osx helpdesk support person for apple.. n my name will be listed at their (apple.com) website.. hmm.. one of my next to do list.. i learn a lot from him as i still new to mac os n it was a good knowledge too..

next week, there'll be an MoU signing between macasia and the university i work for.. i was enlisted as one of the development committee for the ceremony.. wtf is that..?? i dunno what i have to do.. heh.. maybe i should just keep playing along with it..

the futsal tournament for the university staff that i organized last week was a success eventhough i'm the only one planning and doing all the work.. i was relieved to see it turns out occay and everybody congratulates me after the tournament.. and even one of them was joking that i should offer the champion of the tournament a cup named after me.. heh.. that was funny.. akeys cup.. lol..

owh.. man utd lost their chance to win the champions league.. i was frustrated and a bit angry at the defence line playing the 2nd leg game against ac milan.. but the epl is assured for man utd..

thats about it for now.. trying not to sleep after this.. i'm waiting for 0300 (malaysian time) for the match between man utd and chelsea.. i'll update later..

my lcd tv.. part 2..

2007-04-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

heh.. my lcd tv has arrived on thursday.. yeah..!! n quickly i connected it to my htpc to test the so called high definition pics n vids.. the delivery man was astonished as i'm connecting a pc to the lcd tv and using a remote to control the pc.. the results were a bit frustating though due to connection cable (using s-video to rca convertor) not sending digital signals and the vids were a bit noisy..
i didnt check out the audio from the tv as i paired it with my 2.1 speakers (it should have been 5.1) and i got myself a mini home theatre.. it'll work for now..
on friday when i woke up late (too lazy to go to work that day), my wife told me that oyen (our cat) was trying to stand on top of the lcd unit.. huh.. she ran quickly to save it (the tv, not the cat).. thank you kecheq..
we went to low yatt that evening to buy a dvi to hdmi cable as i was hoping the vids quality would be better.. i was expecting that the cable would cost me more than rm100.. i saw a unit of that cable monster** brand the carries the tag of rm300+ from one of the shop there.. *gulp* but lucky for me as i check out the other store (all it hypermarket) and found out that one of the x-students of the university i work for currently works there and i ask him wether they got the cable that i want.. n i got it for rm75 (the actual price was rm89 as he gave me a discount using his name).. yeay..
and the results was good.. i got higher definitions vids but i had one more problem.. the correct resolution.. i tried out all widescreen resolution that the tv can support but nothing satisfies me.. a quick search on the web still doesnt help much..
currently, i'm 80% satisfied with my new toy.. but, whatever it is, i still thank God for it..

my lcd tv..

2007-04-24T00:12:00.000+08:00

at last.. i bought myself an LCD TV.. yeay.. i went to buy the Samsung LA32S71BX (Sonoma) from one of the well known superstore in Malaysia after i could not hold myself anymore.. after doing my homeworks about all the details, rankings, FAQs etc, i decided to buy it today.. i was thinking of buying the Samsung LA32R71B (Bordeux) actually for its phisycal sleekness and advance features, but i just found out that samsung has seized to produce that model already.. *sigh* they have replace it with another Bordeux LA32R81B which comes with higher specs and features..
about my lcd specs..?? google it.. heh.. and make sure u search it at Samsung Malaysia's website as it is differs model name from other region.. AFAIK laa.. heh..
i spent last two weeks comparing and reading reviews on lcds on the net.. n i got tonnes of brochures that i collected from different electronic shops that i went to survey the current price.. actually, the review says that currently, Sony Bravia lcd is on the top ranking for lcd.. in terms of performance, quality n such.. but, as most of u already knows, in term of price, sony is also unbeatable.. heh.. sorry sony.. i love your products, but i hate your price..i used to be a sony fan with my discmans, mini disc players ( i got 3 of them n i dont know where they are now), headphones (even bought myself the earliest model of sony noise cancelling headphones that cost me rm499) n such.. but it was during the 90s.. heh.. but now, i have to choose samsung to fulfill my home theatre desire..
next thing on the list.. new home furnishing.. to bribe my wife as she gave me the opportunity to fill my lust for electronics.. we want to try the 'simplicity' concept.. hmmmmmm..
my lcd due to arrive at my home on this thursday 26th april.. hmm.. my cousin's birthday.. lol.. n i will get a new present for myself.. yeay..
3 days to go..

update..

2007-04-09T13:29:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i last update this blog.. heh.. i have been really busy with real life and a bit lazy to update..
nothing much to tell.. i'm trying to be active again in sports as i have not been able to involve much in sports as i used to be.. the university i work for is trying to organize a soccer team for the city campus.. and maybe i got my name as the first goalkeeper for this team.. maybe.. heh.. it all depends on another game tomorrow night at some stadium in UPM.. i think.. *sigh*
and currently i'm trying to organize a futsal tournament within the city campus staffs.. it will be held on the first week of may.. looks like i'm the only one struggling to make sure the event goes on smoothly as i'm the only one running around the 31 floors of the university building inviting the staffs here to join the tournament.. *sigh*
about my htpc project.. still calculating of buying an LCD TV for myself.. heh.. the tight budget still tormenting me and forcing me to hold myself from buying one in the near future.. *sigh* i've bought a tv tuner tough (a cheap one.. pinnacle brand for RM139 instead of hauppauge mce tuner for RM499) and luckily MCE can display the broadcasted tv in malaysia.. after a few sweats of tweaking due to uncompatible tuner in MCE..
owh.. something funny happens last friday.. as i was preparing myself to go home after work, i was triggered to print out the Sudoku of the day from www.miniclip.com as i love to solve it during my time in the LRT.. as i hit the print button, my printers' paper feeder was rolling to print my sudoku and suddenly it was jammed.. i was surprised as i'm sure it has not giving my any problem since i got it.. while i was trying to pull the jammed paper out of the printer, something sticked at the paper.. to my surprise there was a dead lizard (cicak)..!! upper part of its body (the front leg and skin) were torn off due to the roller.. ugh.. i was thinking of taking a picture of the incident but then again, it's too gore.. heh.. and i still trying to print out the sudoku but the printer is still jammed.. i think to myself, maybe the front leg of the cicak is still stucked at the roller..
when i reached my office this morning, i tried to print out as i'm sure the leg has been harden already.. heh.. and i was right.. the printed paper is out with some piece of the cicaks' skin on it..
that's all for now.. wish me luck for tomorrow night.. hopefully i wont let any goals pass through me tomorrow.. *crossing fingers*

birthday

2007-02-26T10:19:00.000+08:00

hmm.. it's my birthday today..
well, nothing much to do.. as i'm getting older, i dont feel like celebrating anymore.. dont know why.. but, by 12 midnite last nite, i kept asking myself, what have i contribute for the past 26 years..?? wether to the community, to my family, to my country, and to myself..
what have i been doing during these 26 years of my living in this world..?? do i earn my right to live longer..?? hmm.. dont know what to say to myself.. n how to explain.. *sigh*
what have i achieved within these 26 years..?? i dont know.. *sigh*
but, whatever it is, i still got my family.. that's something that i have to be proud of.. n i will always cherish that..
anyway, it's been quite a week.. first, the 45 minutes of blackout.. and then, on last weekend, the water supply has been disrupted.. no warning at all.. luckily, my wife has always kept two large pails of water in case of emergency.. good for her..
i just hope that i can still see 26th february for years to come.. i thanked God for giving me 26 years of happiness, bitterness, ups and downs..
well, i still hope my tormenting thoughts will always tormenting me for years to come.. thanks to all that have been with me throughout these 26 years of mine..

hmm..

2007-02-02T15:56:00.000+08:00

hmm.. it's been a while since i wrote something to my blog..
i had been very busy last month n if i do have a little time, i would be playing and researching for something new to upgrade my htpc.. heh.. what did i told u..? i would be glued to my htpc..
and about my htpc, it all work out well for now.. at first, i had lots of problems such as cannot view any of my movies, cannot play any of my dvds, cannot start directx n such.. at first i thought that windows mce is just another windows xp with a little tweak here and there.. but i was wrong.. luckily my knowledge on xp is not so bad.. not an xp MVP yet as i hate to entertain people's questions but still, i know i can solve most of xp's problems.. and luckily, i had google by my side.. there's nothing u cant find on the internet these days.. heh..
about microsoft's MVP, wow, it would be nice to be known as one of those MVPs.. heh.. and microsoft did put the list of all their mvps on their website.. all they had to do is just be active in the microsoft support forum.. but i cant be one i think.. as i didnt have so much time for me to dedicated to those forums.. i love forums, but only to read 'em.. n from what i read, there's no mvp yet from malaysia.. hmm..
and yesterday, my wife told me something that would make me jumping around and smiling all week.. heh.. she will give me something that i really wants for my birthday..!! yeay..!! but, there's a twist to that.. lol.. anyway, i would like to thank her in advance.. for even having the thought of buying me that thing.. thank you so much..
what else for my update.. oh.. my parents (my mom and my stepfather) involved in a car accident on the 20th of january.. Alhamdulillah, there's no external or internal injury for both of them.. but the trauma will always be there.. thanx to everyone that have been there to help my family especially on the night itself.. even billy and kolonel was there as they were planning to spend the night at my house..
la la la.. what else to write.. hmm.. i think thats all for now.. if i have the time, i'll update again.. thanx to syakir for reminding me to update my blog.. luckily the 'blog patrol' officer didnt say anything.. hehe..

akeys HTPC.. part 1

2006-12-23T00:57:00.000+08:00

hmm.. after two months of patience due to the tight budget n such, i've completed my latest project.. well, not really latest as i'm already planning of new project..

my htpc is finally complete.. err.. 80% of it actually.. as i still looking for some way to buy myself an LCD TV.. maybe a 32" only..

here's the spec of my HTPC..

Pentium 4 3.0Ghz
1.5Gb DDR 3200 RAM
120Gb PATA HDD (thinking of adding a 300Gb SATA HDD later)
256Mb DDR Graphic Card
DVD Writer

and here's the picture of it..

the case.. my wife bought it for me as one of my anniversary gift.. thank you kecheq..!!

the inside view.. i've switched the original PSU with my own PSU (black colour) as it have more connectors..

the new Intel 'processor'.. Oyen 8.0Ghz.. heh.. he just love to be inside the casing..

oyen inside my other pc casing..

the real 'brain' inside my htpc..

the standing view..
hmm.. still haven't installed windows MCE (media center edition) yet on this htpc.. getting tired and sleepy already.. it's nearly 0130.. n Along planned to go to Malacca (my wifes' hometown) tomorrow.. n got a lot of things to do tomorrow morning.. hmm.. maybe after i get back from Malacca tomorrow night i'll install the OS and give my htpc its first run.. heh.. cant wait..

anniversary..

2006-12-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

well, in an hour, it'll be me n my wife's 2nd year anniversary.. yeay for us..
it has been 24 months of ups and downs.. 104 weeks of good and bad time for us.. but of course, i cherish every moments of it.. every seconds of it..

to Kecheq, i hope that we can celebrate another 19th of December together.. a hundred more maybe.. heh.. of course with our little O-Ren Ishii (oyen) and those little hamsters of yours.. and thank you for being there for me whenever i need someone to hold, someone to share my dreams with, someone that i can tell my problems with, someone to share my laughter and most importantly, someone to call 'my wife'..

thank you Allah for giving me a chance to spend my life with my wife and giving me enough strength and patience to hold our marriage..

and thank you to everyone that has been supporting our marriage throughout these years.. thank you so much.. i hope that all your prayers for our relationship to last til our last breath will always continues..

love u Kecheq..

true love..?? part 2..

2006-12-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

well, here i goes again..

in a relationship of true love, as i said before, u could never and should never change your partner.. as same goes to yourself.. just be yourself.. as a typical advice to anyone that trying to go to their first date, "just be yourself".. in this case, it really a tough job actually to deal with someone new in your life.. their attitude, their pros n cons.. but still, the power of love can do anything..

to me, in a true love relationship, the main core of that relationship is 'trust'.. as long as u trust your partner, u could be in love forever and ever.. well, not forever actually, as u would die someday.. heh.. if the trust is so strong, one would never lie to their partner.. u could never act as someone else while being with your partner.. u dont have to lie to them where u had been, what u have done, who u have been with..

me..?? i trust my wife whole heartedly.. i would never ask her who's been calling her phone, who have just 'sms'ed her, where she have been, who she goes out to lunch with n such.. as long as i trust her, the jealousy wont be in my heart towards her.. yeah, i know that if i love her, i should be jealous as the ol' Malay folks says 'cemburu tandanya sayang' (jealousy means love).. when some male students trying to get close to her, 'sms'ing her, calling her phone, i just kept telling myself, it's part of her daily job.. it's her profession as a lecturer to deal with students no matter male or female.. it's hard actually to train myself to accept that, but, i think i manage to let the jealousy go.. i dont like being asked who have just called my phone, who have just 'sms' me n such.. and as i said before, treat someone the way u want them to treat u..

to tell u guys the truth, while i was in my teenage years, i was not the same me now.. i was selfish, arrogant, self centered and some other negative aspects.. i think i've talk about it before.. somehow, i dont know what came to me, i changed.. i trained myself see from other peoples' view.. in every decisions i made, i would think about how it will affects other peoples' life..

back to the topic, it would a heaven for a relationship with true love.. there would be no lies, no jealousy, no quarrels.. maybe some of said it wont be true.. it wont happen.. even u're madly in love with someone.. heh.. actually, that's y people says that they have never been in true love.. they would just say it to soothes their partners' feelings..

nobody is perfect.. that's y relationship ends.. another mythical theory indeed.. i'm not saying myself is perfect, a saint or what.. it's just that in a relationship, u should have a lot of tolerances.. if u cant stand your partner, just play along.. if your partner is in bad mood, dont try to be a hero to calm them down.. just let them be.. nothing u can do actually to help them.. u cant go scolding your partners' boss if they have been scolded by their boss.. u cant change anything.. n u cant share their problem actually.. the point of view is totally different.. u cant expect someone to totally agree with u.. all u can do is to cheer them up instead of agreeing and saying bad things about their boss.. dont be a firestone to show them that u care.. and when there's a misunderstanding between both of u, instead of looking at their negative sides, try to look for all the things your partner have done for u.. all the time your partner have sacrifies to be beside u even they have to be somewhere else, all the things they have done for instead of doing other things, how they put u in top priority on top of a lot of other things.. from my point of view, i saw a lot of mistakes has been done by some peoples each time they had a misunderstanding with their partner.. dont know why.. is it so easy to let all those time together just because of 5 minutes of quarrel..?? there are a lot of other ways to settle their problems, but they have just go their separated ways to make sure no one is hurting.. yeah right.. like u going to be happy living all alone after all those time knowing someone is there beside u.. think about it please.. try it.. think of all those good times.. all of those even little things your partner have done for u before u decide to let your anger takes control..

well, i'm not trying to say that my life is perfect.. i cant say anything to change the world.. i'm currently living a normal life with my wife.. trying so hard to make sure my wife is happy spending her time with me.. trying so hard to make sure my wife is comfortable having me beside her.. i'm not perfect as i know that somehow, somewhere, someone may be saying bad words about me.. all i can do is just making my effort to make sure people around me will always be happy knowing me.. hope anything i said wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable as they're only my tormented thoughts..

true love..??

2006-12-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

hmm.. well, i know it's not a common thing for me to write about this, but i think i just need people to know and think about it for a second..

i just watched some talk show about some celebrities discussing on the meaning of 'true love'..

well, in most movies, as the popular romantic movies such as 'Sleepless in Seattle' n such, it's all about true love.. hmm.. in the end, the character would find their true love.. n logically, we aren't living based on scripts (though i wish i could).. nobody can expect what people around u would do in the future.. heh.. no one can predict what kind of situation u might be in in the next few seconds..

what is love actually..?? many people says that they know what is love.. they claimed that they have experienced it before.. or currently in one.. not that i'm saying that they're wrong, still, can anyone define love.. to me, love is something that u cant define in any word or words.. it happens just like that.. if someone says that love is a feeling u had for someone u cherish, well, to me that is just another feeling that u have in opposite of hate.. i cant explain it very well in english, but in malay, there's a difference between 'cinta' and 'sayang'..

as a analytical person (some of u should notice thru my previous posts), i give u an example.. while walking around somewhere, sometime, and suddenly u saw someone (opposite sex or even same sex hehe).. and u feel some 'electricity' flows within your veins and somehow, u're numb for words.. u feel like that person is the one for u.. but.. heh.. what actually do u want from that person..?? a relationship that last for a long time..?? a one night stand..?? to hold their hand while walking together..?? to show off in front of your friends..?? or just to be notice..?? u would say that it was 'love at first sight'.. but actually have u ever think of it..?? what happen if u said 'hi' to that person..?? what happens next..?? or do u just 'well, life goes on'.. heh..

a lot of people mistakes or should i say abuse the word 'love' for 'lust'.. when they meet someone new, in a situation above, if everything goes fine, for some reason, they would end up in bed together.. some even might ask their partner especially those unmarried couple to prove their love by 'making love'.. that is not love..!! that is lust..!! in the end, if the relationship ended, the same ol' dialogue will be repeated over and over again.. "i gave him (occasionally) my trust, my love, everything.. but he dump me.. if i knew, i would be doing (or give him) anything..!!" lol.. come on la.. if u knew something would happen, u wouldnt be together at all.. and even if u dont know wether your partner will be the last face u'll be looking at before u die, u shouldn't gave urself to them before marriage..

another simple question that i would like to ask u guys.. IS YOUR PARTNER YOU'RE TRUE LOVE..?? hehe.. that's a question that is somehow many people would answer 'yes'.. of course the answer would change a few years later or maybe a few months later when the relationship ends.. heh.. if the relationship stays til your last breathe, congratulation to both of u.. anyway, how can i congratulate dead people..?? lol.. n how can u make sure after u died, your partner wont be looking for a replacement..?? heh.. back to the question.. the answer depends actually.. if the question was asked in front of their partner, or even the partner might know your answer, of course 'yes' would be coming out of your mouth.. and here is a trick to anyone.. before asking them this question, try to ask them "who is your dream woman/man..?? lol.. i bet a lot of people would be trapped..

another thing that i noticed people would do for 'love'.. a big mistake actually.. a lot of people would change for their partner to make sure the relationship stays.. some people quits smoking due to their partner cant stand smokers.. some people stops from clubbing due to respect for their partner that cant stand someone who love to clubbing.. some man buys makeup for their partner by using the lame excuses such as "u look good in this".. yeah right.. if you love your partner, why ask them to wear a mask..?? heh.. n why quit smoking for someone who cant accept who u are..?? if he/she didnt like u smoking, find someone else.. in the end, if something happens to your relationship, u will go back and become smokers again.. am i right..?? i saw a lot of this cases.. while they're in a relationship, they tried to an angel to make sure their partner is happy.. but i call this 'acting'.. as i said before, when things go wrong, u will go back to the ol' u.. and sometimes in a relationship, we accidently tried to change our partner.. u asked them to change their hairstyle, u ask them not to become close to the opposite sex due to jealousy n such.. well, in a relationship, u have to accept someone as they are.. dont change them.. and the most important thing is TRUST.. for me, i love the phrase 'if u love someone, let it free.. if they are meant for u, they will come back to u'.. u cant change people.. instead of changing someone to suit your needs, u bend with them.. that's what i learn from 'The Matrix'.. the true meaning for the tagline "dont try to bend the spoon.. instead, it's u that bends.. that there is no spoon.."

relationship, love is not a cage.. not a barrier.. not a burden.. they are suppose to be beautiful.. smiling faces everywhere.. even u've been busy in the office, by the time u meet up with your partner, u should smile.. forgets all the problems, all the misery.. if u mix up your career and your relationship, it wont go far.. i bet u would end up lonely.. no matter how hard your day was, your partner shouldnt be the place to let go all of your problems.. they are not supposed to be a punching bag.. i know that in a relationship, u should carry your partners' burden together.. yerp.. it's true.. but it was supposed to be like this.. after all the hard days of datelines, being scolded by the boss, unsatisfied clients, u CAN tell your partner all of those things.. but u CANT involve them in your problem.. if u had a problem with clients, it doesnt involve your partner.. they are supposed to be a listener.. dont force them to dive into your problems.. i think u guys should knew that if u mix up your external problems into your relationship, u guys could ruin the day or even spoils your partners' mood.. n u can always listens to your partners' problems, but u cant interfere.. u can give suggestion, but cant force them to accept it..

actually, there's a lot of things to talk about love.. there's the positive side, negative side, and even the side effects.. heh.. after this, dont ask me wether i'm in true love or what.. dont ask me wether my wife is my true love or not.. i will give a 'smackdown' to anyone who ask me that question.. heh..

another great phrase that i learned from somewhere, "love is not sowed on farms.. they grew like weeds in fields.." then again, it's just my another tormented thoughts..

Windows Vista @ KLCC..

2006-11-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

went to Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre today.. FYI, it's located at Kuala Lumpur City Centre.. lol.. KLCC @ KLCC @ KL.. i was laughing to myself the first time i noticed.. well, back to the story.. Microsoft was launching a Sneak/Technial Preview of Windows Vista.. of course i went for the Technical part..
quite a lot of people who would like to know about this latest product from Microsoft.. the registration started at 0745, but as a typical Malaysian, we love to be late.. heh.. as i (went there with 3 colleague) reached KLCC @ 0850, there's a lot of people still queing up for registration and by the time i've registered, around 0910 (as have to write down my details due to no business card), the event has started already.. to my surprise, the Technical Hall was quarter fill with people.. i thought this is a big event.. n then, i knew why.. as i said before, latecomers.. n i thought i was late.. people kept coming in while the event was running and only at 0945, the hall was filled with peoples.. heh.. but.. hmm.. i was a bit dissappointed as the main event, the introduction session was held at the Sneak Hall.. the ones at the Technical Hall (me) was only given a live feed from the other hall.. we just kept staring at the projection screen at the empty stage.. heh.. we heard people applausing and cheering from the feed, but peoples at the Technical Hall was like a ghost town.. dead silence.. lol.. i noticed that the other people at the Technical Hall was getting impatient and started to moved to the Sneak Hall and some of them started to go out and have a quick puff.. and one of them was me.. hehehe.. i realized that the reason why the main event was held at the other hall was due to the press n such were staying at that hall.. *sigh* but, what the heck, i came for knowledge..

they gave a brief introduction about Vista.. the GUI (graphical user interface), neew features and such.. to me, it was a resemblance to Mac OS.. Microsoft tried to put some widget at the desktop sidebar and trying to call them 'Gadgets'.. lol.. but, it's their right to do so.. vista has a feature that are some kind of screenshots everytime u hover ur mouse over the running programs list at the taskbar.. cool.. and for those who likes to press alt+tab (to swap between running programs), a new feature has been added.. u can now press windows key+tab and u can see the same program swapper but with a cool screenies.. whoa..!! and the other great feature was if u're in a worst case scenario.. i bet u will as vista would take a lot of memories (minimum requirement IS 1Gb of RAM), u were somehow out of virtual memories.. all of your running programs has started to slow down n u're started to panic as u have tons of work to do.. u can now just plug in your thumbdrive (flash drive/memory stick whatever u call it) and set your thumbdrive a temporary virtual memory.. whoa..!! n u can save all or continues ur task until u can save it and reboot your system to refresh your system..

by 1130, the real event for each hall has started.. the first speaker, one of the managers of Microsoft Malaysia, gave a speech about Microsoft Exchange 2007.. and i was (for the first time actually) astonished by the functionality and the simple steps of configuring Ms Exchange.. whoa..!! the new Ms Exchange has a feature of (the best part of it) PABX mail checking function.. well, i cant remember the exact name of that function.. heh.. that means, users can check their email and appointments and tasks from Outlook by using their normal phones.. imaging this.. while u're driving to some destination, and u just want to check an important email from someone, or u wanna check wether u have a meeting on the evening, but u didnt have an internet access or u just cant use u're laptop (as u're driving *duh*), u can just call up your pc (huh..??), and your computer will answer the call and communicate with u telling u about your unread emails or an appointment or a meeting.. whoa..!! u can just quickly add a note to your tasks, for example, the spokesperson there told the machine this " I'll be late" and the machine quickly recognize it and sends it to the other meeting members stating that u'll be late for the meeting.. the machine operator can also read the emails for u.. i was not impress at first as maybe it was programmed to respond to some voice command, but as the spokesperson continues, the communication between him and the machine operator was just like a real communication between someone with his/her real life personal assistant.. n by the time the spokesperson said "Goodbye", the command to end the call, the machine was actually babbling about something, but quickly recognize that command and ask the spokesperson back "I heard u're saying goodbye, do u want to end this call?" i was like "wtf?" and the spokesperson earned himself a big round of applause from the audience..

and then, there was another speaker giving some speech about some other product that has not caught my attention.. hehe.. i went out for an early lunch and came back and went straight to the exhibition hall.. i walked around the hall and view all those developers trying to persuade us to buy their product by saying windows vista compatible n such.. heh.. but.. i was shock to know that the new windows vista came bundled with my latest project.. huh..!! occay.. i give up.. my latest project was to build a HTPC (Home Theater PC).. a pc that is dedicated for a media portal for me to play any media files such as movies, musics, pictures, tv streams, n such, all connected to a large screen tube.. seems nice huh..?? i'll tell u guys about the project later.. back to the story.. heh.. Microsoft Media Center is bundled within Windows Vista.. and that means, if i want the best results, i have to get myself Windows Vista.. hmm.. but there's only one booth showing their HTPC product.. Techdos if i'm not mistaken.. and i ask the representative (he didnt interested entertaining me at first) about the technical details.. and of course the price.. n quite a surprise to know that for a system without plasma or lcd tv or display unit, it cost u around RM5k to RM8k..!! huh.. i think it has only cost me RM2k for now.. as i still cant find the best (cheap) HTPC casing.. but still, the representative gave me a good news though.. and he promise me to meet at the coming PIKOM PC Fair on 1st to 3rd of December 2006.. cant wait..!!

and during the exhibition, some representative from O2 was giving a speech about the latest O2 Stealth.. their tagline was "It Not Just A Phone".. think so.. i was interested as i'm looking forward to buy myself a new PDA Phone, and of course one for Kecheq.. and at the end of the speech, he made an announcement that was nearly made me faint.. they're giving away two O2 Stealth today..!! i pushed myself in front of the crowd to make myself visible to them.. but the O2 guy dont know how to give out those phones.. he just kept scrathing his head and finally came up with a question.. "whoever has a windows based phone, please raise your hand and show me your phones..!!" i quickly grab my phone and show my old trustee phone to him.. and there was another few peoples respond to that announcement.. i think i was lucky as i was quick.. but.. *sigh* he said "unfortunately, u guys cant have this phone as u guys have already experienced the windows mobile phones.." and again, i was saying to myself "WTF..??" and by the time he announce "anyone who doesnt have a windows mobile phones....." i was halfway to the exit door.. better luck next time.. heh..

long silence.. again..

2006-10-31T02:55:00.000+08:00

hmm.. it's been a while since my last post.. here's a little update..

my streamyx connection were down since wednesday evening til saturday evening.. called the support line, well, u know how it feels to call those hotlines.. after more than 10 minutes of 'streamyx broadband song', only then the real person voice came through.. made a report for the frequent disconnection and unsuccessful attempts to connect.. and the helpdesk operator promise me that it will be solve within two working days.. well, it took them three days and it is after i called up my ex-tennis player who currently works for tmnet.. and after that, someone from their technical dept called and said that the problem was due to some faulty card at the port for my connection.. huh..??

hmm.. it's been a typical 'raya' week for me.. went back to my wife's hometown on the second days before raya with Along n Long (twolips).. help out my parent-in-laws to prepare the raya celebration.. not much i can do as it involves cooking n such.. just helping out cleaning the house.. and my wife's sister came on the last day of Ramadhan.. the boys (the nephews) help out too.. n on the raya eve we burn some firecrackers (fireworks as my wife said) with Abah.. heh.. an interesting thing happens while playing some card games with Abah n Mak.. heh.. hmm.. i know she didnt mean that but still, it hurts a bit.. u noticed that too, aren't u twolips.. heh..

oh, the way some people celebrate raya is always differs for each person.. the express forgiving and apology ceremonies which shock me a bit though.. yeah, i know sometime u do apologizes to someone n not only during first day of raya, but still, the true meaning of raya is to forgives and apologizes to everyone.. and to celebrate the successful month of fasting in Ramadhan.. it wont hurt to apologize and forgive someone like u mean it during the raya morning.. it's just inappropriate the return someone's apologies with a simple phrase of 'same to u'.. it would be great when someone said "please forgive my sins throughout this year ...." and u return the apologies with "i'm also would like to apologizes to u...." heh.. well, what's done is done..

hmm.. what else.. about the project.. i missed my chance to get my own mini barebone or small form factor pc last week..!! i had been eyeing this one auction in lelong.com.my and one the last hour of the auction, my connection went dead..!! *sigh* well, again.. what's done is done..

went to Plaza Alam Sentral in Shah Alam last week before raya.. my mom, my sis n my wife went window shopping (last minute) for baju kurung raya.. heh.. cant stand the crowd and the feeling of womens only shopping spree, i went to the IT section.. a bit disappointed at first seeing it's not an IT section but 80% of the shops there concentrate on handphones stuff.. and then this one shop amaze me.. there's a small form factor desktop pc that is actually an old skool pc.. maybe pentium 2 at least.. but the casing is just right for my project.. i want to ask for the price but the sales assisstant there (only one person) was busy with some other person.. hmm.. i have to let it go for a while..

maybe i will be going to Plaza Low Yatt tomorrow.. just found out about the amazing shops at the fourth floor.. they are actually selling most of the things i need for my project.. err, i have been spending my time at the third floor on my every visit there looking out for hardwares..

that's all for now..

latest project.. part 1..

2006-10-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

heh.. i know some of u still wondering what's my latest project is.. well, it's a secret.. err.. just wait n see.. and please, stop attacking me with questions.. but, i bet by the time i had completed this project, lots of people would like to have it too.. most of the people i know havent done this project yet.. but it seems in malaysia, this project are not so popular yet..
currently, i've completed most of the software part.. but then, it has come to the part of shopping for the hardware.. *sigh* this is the part i hate most.. as i'm in a tight budget, so, i have to wait for some time to achieve that.. and it's hard to find those hardwares in this country.. hmm.. well, i've found one company that sells the main part for this project, online, but i have to see it for my self.. just to make sure it fits my needs.. the price..?? quite satisfying..
about the mini barebone pc (some of u call it shuttle pc), actually it doesnt meet the correct specification.. i thought about it over and over again, and i have to change the actual plan.. the whole plan.. but the same idea.. heh..
n what i need right now is a sponsor.. hehehe.. like that gonna happen.. for the best result, i need about RM10k for this project.. lol.. surprise aren't you.. as i stated before, for the best result.. and legally.. see..?? the price for items in malaysia is too much.. if i'm wanna go for the minimum budget plan, it will only cost me below RM3k.. and in my current situation, i got most most of the part i need.. and i just need another RM500.. *sigh*
help..!!

cost of living..

2006-10-08T05:00:00.000+08:00

hmm.. again.. i was triggered by the news on local tube today.. mr. deputy prime minister urges citizens of this country to not to use the local loanshark a.k.a. Ah Long a.k.a. Along or unlicenced chitty a.k.a. ceti a.k.a. Indian loanshark to pay for their childrens study fees.. in short, dont use them at all..!! says mr. deputy PM..
hmm.. well, in my humble opinion.. heh.. there are reasons why malaysians look for those loansharks for help..
first of all, malaysians are UNDERPAID..!! yes, it's true.. let me give u a scenario.. a technical person in IT in malaysia (A) are getting minimum basic salary of RM1.5k per month.. well, i've heard and know some cases where the pay is lower than that.. and, from what i heard, a same technical IT guy in the other states especially in western countries (B) are getting roughly USD1.5k too per month.. in a glance, without minding the currency rate, both person gets the same amount of currency bills every month.. 1500 sheets of RM1 or USD1 bills.. but in reality.. there's a lot of differences for both person.. in currency rate, B is richer than A by 3.6 times (current rate).. and, the cost of living there, B can spend on lots of things for his needs.. but, take a look at A, with all the price hikes and most of the items are imported from westerners, how much can he spend..?? what kind of food can he eat..?? can he eat chicken chop everyday..?? after paying his utility bills, house rent, car loan, fuel for his car, *sigh* can he buy himself a decent clothings..?? branded clothing here in malaysia, for example, Nike, even the shorts cost us RM70.. wtf..?? typically, all they said was that it covered the cost of shipping from other countries n currency rates factor..
that's a reason why Petaling Street exists.. so that we can afford 'Nike' brand eventho its a replica.. the price for locals..?? 1/3 of the original..
back to the topic.. in my opinion, cost of living here in malaysia are too high.. there's an advertisement in local tube on a 6-7 years old kid is trying to saves money from every source he can get.. washing cars, helping his motherdoing house chores n such.. at the end of the advertisement, the narrator said that the cost for engineering course in local university is about rm45k.. well, it's true.. while on my days in unitar, i was told that the cost for it degree course is about rm40k.. *sigh* and if took the loan for my study, i have to pay the loan provider about rm200+ per month for about 15 years.. wtf..?? in case i got my degree when i'm 25 years old, that piece of paper will officially be mine only when i'm 40 y/o.. but still, that piece of paper didnt guarantees me a job that can help me feed myself and my future family.. that's one of the reason y i hate malaysia educational system..
occay, lets take another scenario.. a father, sole income provider for his family, have a job that pays him rm1k per month.. and lets say he got 3 or 4 childrens.. cost of sending his childrens for a proper and chepest school (government sponsored schools) maybe takes about rm100 to rm200 per child for the fees only.. and he still have to buy the school uniforms for his childrens.. and lets not forget the exercise books, text books, revision books.. and also some money for his childrens to spend while in school e.g. foods, drinks, stationaries.. do u think he can afford that..?? and do u think the government will pay for his childs educational process..?? or even worse, does the government notice him..?? lol.. can he apply for a loan from the licensed company..?? those procedures scares me a lot.. u got to have a guarantor, confirmation letter n such.. then, Along came to the rescue.. that man can apply for a loan without guarantor, without those procedures.. but the risk is he could lose his life if he fails to pay on time.. *sigh* of course, family comes first.. and what choices does the man had..?? u think about it..
those ministers saying all those things about dont take loans from loansharks n such.. i wanna ask u guys a question.. have u ever been in those peoples shoes..?? u might say, i used to while i was i kid.. i grew up in a poor family yada yada.. well, it was 30 years ago mr. minister.. now, while u have an allowance for your house, allowance for your car (it's not your car as u didnt pay for it), allowance for driver (u wont drive that car.. i know), allowance for meals, allowance for appearing in public n many other allowance.. u even had escorts while on your journey anywhere in this problematic traffic jam in KL.. ordinary citizens has to be pulled over and stopped to give way to mr. minister as he is on his way for a meeting to help the citizens.. mr. minister never pays for his fuels.. i bet that there no ministers in malaysia has ever fill up the fuel for his cars on his own.. did he even bother to be sighted at the petrol station.. nope.. he would ask his driver to make sure that the car is fully loaded with fuel before his journeys.. does mr. minister queues in traffic jam..?? nope.. does mr. minister queues on toll booth..?? nope.. they got a reserved lane for them.. does mr. minister ride on public transport on peak hours before he commented on public transport is in the best shape..?? nope..
well.. this in onle my tormented thoughts.. i bet it would never reached any of the minister in malaysia.. i'm just another citizen that votes for them to 'serve' and to be the 'voice of people' in malaysia.. all they do is debating in the parliament on current issues.. even some of them were caught sleeping at the back while other minister debating in the parliament by local news.. please wake up.. i'm not paying u guys (as my tax money went to their salary and allowance) to sleep.. please.. feel our pain and misery.. do something.. for your voters..

mini barebone pc..

2006-10-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

hmm.. my latest project..
i'm planning to build up a mini barebone pc right now.. well, it's a kind of hard to construct due to not all mobos (motherboard) are that tiny enuff to fit those mini casing.. the typical tiny mobos out there are usually AMDs mobo and not Intels mobo.. hmm.. a challenge for me.. currently, i'm looking forward to buy (or maybe construct) this kind of pc..

front

back

what do i need that cute little thing for..?? u might ask.. well, for those who knows what are the things i'm currently in love with right now might understand what am i gonna do with that little devil.. heh.. i cant disclose this rite now as i'm still researching for the best solutions for this project, and still calculating this and that for the best performance..
if i successfully complete this project, i'm sure i wont be out of the house for about two months playing this little toy.. lol..
well, actually, i've got the parts already.. if i want to DIY this mini pc.. but then, i have to find a nice casing for it and i'm sure it will be pricey in this country.. and i have thought about constructing the casing myself using fibre glass and such.. still, i dont think that it will last for a long time.. hmm.. to DIY or not to DIY..
waaa..!! i want this mini pc so bad..!! anyone cares to buy this little thingy for me..?? hehehe.. i've already put this mini pc on my wishlist.. lol..

hotlines..

2006-10-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting here with my wife having our early 'sahur'.. i've finished mine of course.. heh.. we're having our dinner in front of the tube watching the local news..
in one of the news that are being aired are about this some kind of critical problem that currently strucked malaysia for about 3 months.. malaysia is in shortage of SUGAR..!! lol.. i dont know who to blame.. as i spoke to one of the grocer here, they complained that it's not them who hide those stocks of sugars, it was those factories that manufactures sugar.. they (the grocers) complains that they have been blame for no sugar at their shop.. consumers assume that grocers hide them to pump up the price.. well, still i'm not trying to take side of anyone, as i dont know the truth..
but the main thing that are being aired are about the government's action against these scums.. the government sector that has been given the responsibility to deal with these problem has create a hotline for consumers to complain about any indecent act from any grocers or manufacturers.. like that gonna help anyone.. the irony thing is,the current channel that aired the news has been notified about the malfunction of the so called hotline.. they even aired a recording of them trying to connect to the hotline.. and as always, the answer is something like this:

machine prerecorded voice (mpv) : thank you for calling ...... please press 1 for ..... thank you, please wait while we connects you..

an anti piracy song being played.. (lol)

mpv : i'm sorry, but the line is currently busy.. please wait..

the same song being played..

mpv: i'm sorry, but the line is currently busy.. please wait.. (wtf..??)

again, that same song..

mpv : i'm sorry, but the line is still busy.. please try again later..

hahahaha..
aint that funny..?? heh.. that's a common problems with hotline.. i've been there.. well, again.. dont know who to be blame.. but actually, a little advise from me.. if u do want to make a hotline, and u know that M'sia have around 16 million citizens, hire more staff to attend those calls..
the news broadcaster even tried to ask the responsible minister for an explaination.. n here's what he had to say..

there is a technical fault at the public relation centre.. we are currently doing our best to overcome the problem.. the hotline will be back around tomorrow..

yeah, right.. sometime, or maybe everytime.. these hotline cant be trusted at all.. hmm.. i've lost my ideas on writing this topic.. but, still.. just another 'joke' to be share with u guys.. it gave me a good laugh tho..

Hamachi..

2006-09-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

hmm.. syakir has been recommending me this software since last week.. it's my lost cause i didnt listen to him at that time.. heh.. sorry kir.. it is a good software.. lots of benefits for some ppl like me.. but, as always, people misused every advantages they had.. especially when it's free..
what is a Hamachi..?? well, at first, when syakir mentioned it to me, what i heard was 'Apache'.. heh.. well, my hearing isn't that good.. especially my right ear.. there's a story behind it.. but this post isnt about my ears.. hehehe.. i thought syakir recommended me another programming software.. i hate programming..
anyway.. it's a program that creates Virtual Private Network within WAN (internet).. whoa.. the GUI of this software is so simple that any user can make a full use of it.. VPN..?? well.. let's just say that u can easily connect to your other computer at the other side of the world using the same concept as LAN.. file sharing, LAN gaming, remote desktop, all the great things u can do without any port forwarding or network expert skills..
i connect my laptop from home to my machines at the offices using this great software.. what for..?? well, lots of it.. if i forgot to bring home some of my works from the office (as i'm a very absent minded person, really really absent minded), i can still reach out and grab the data from my office pc without any hassle.. and still, i'm a bit worried about the security for Hamachi.. it's too easy.. heh..
but still, i hope that Hamachi remains free for users.. still, u can pay for more great features of Hamachi.. the price is affordable (not me as i dont fully trust online fund transfering).. but, i just need the basics.. heh.. but quickly i remembered DirectConnect and Bittorrent.. it was developed to help people transfering data over the net, but now, people uses it to transfer illegal softwares and ripped movies and songs.. i can see the future of Hamachi.. heh.. but, as i said before, hopefully it remains free for basic user..
and using this great software means i have to leave my machines turned on 24/7.. heh.. and this means higher electrical bills for me.. la la la..
thank you Hamachi..

syndication..

2006-09-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

hmm.. another project.. heh.. well, this time, i've benn playing around with RSS and Atom.. wtf..?? u might ask.. heh.. there's always www.google.com.my or www.wikipedia.com for answers.. a little research wont hurt though..
hmm.. what's good about RSS or Atom..?? hmm, i can now read most of the updates from any websites that i often surf to without opening that website in particular and i can read all the updates from my desktop.. wtf..?? heh.. here's a little screenshot of my desktop..

see that widget on the top center of my desktop..?? that's what i meant.. that's an RSS and Atom reader widget.. wtf is widget..?? heh.. it's a software that u can put on your desktop for your own ease of launching an application, a benchmard tools, games, anything on your desktop.. i'm using Yahoo Widget Engine for this project.. it's a free download from Yahoo website.. the other widget that i use on my desktop is a benchmarking tools for my laptop.. it display everything i need to know about my laptop.. my uptime, my current CPU usage, my RAM usage and even my dynamic WAN IP.. damn i forgot to hide my ip.. lol.. it's occay tho, as i can just reboot my modem as i'm using a dynamic WAN IP..
back to the RSS widget, now i can add up any RSS feed from any website that supports 'em.. even my wife's blog.. and even from the website provides me all the latest DVD release..
u can download the widget from yahoo widget gallery.. the widget i'm using is from Mr. Brent Johnson named 'RSS Reader' *duh* thank you Mr. Brent Johnson..
hmm.. actually, the widget project was started from Mac OS.. Apple put this widget thingy for Mac OS for user to make a full use of their desktop.. they can run and utilise their desktop instead of SAMO plain desktop..
well, that's about it.. for more info, there's always google n yahoo for u..

remote on remote..

2006-09-23T00:44:00.000+08:00

nice title huh..?? well, it's another tech post.. its another guide to another tech project.. my latest project..
the scenario.. while i was busy looking for a way to manage those computer labs in the university i work for, there's one software developing company called up n said that they have a remote administration software that can help us (IT Division) to manage all the computers within the university.. well, they gave me a demo copy of their software n the saddest was i can only use the demo version for only 15 days.. n it's has been two days now.. *sigh* the software can manage clients computer (lab computers) remotely in terms of hardware inventory, software inventory, network inventory, application metering, patch deployment n other useful stuff..
while i was busy monitoring the software, i was thinking to myself.. how can i manage those computers without ever seeing how many students are still using those computers and how many unattended computers are being left turned on.. i still have to be in the labs and i still have to monitor the software.. the software server version has been installed on one of my pc in my room.. i dont want to keep going in n out of my room n those labs everytime i have to check on those computers.. instead, why cant i control the remote software while i'm mobile..
n hey, i got a PDA phone.. so, i turned on Remote Connection on my pc that has been turned into remote administrating server n i connect my pda phone to the pc and voila.. i can manage the remote administrating software remotely.. n wirelessly.. heh.. how did i do it..?? here's a little guide for anyone interested in this topic..

1. turn on your remote connection option on your pc from the 'system properties' of windows.. under the 'remote' tab n tick on 'allow users to connect remotely....'

2. connect the pc to a wireless point and make sure your pda are connected to the same network segment so that your pda and your pc can communicate with each other.. in my case, i set up the wireless mode on ad-hoc.. so that i can get a better range and no one else can connect to my pc..

3. on your pda, click on 'start' and go to 'programs'.. tap on 'terminal services client'.. make sure u know the IP for your pc.. type in your pc's IP and tap on connect.. if nothing goes wrong, u'll be prompt for a password.. type in your password n voila, u're remotely controlling other pc remotely.. lol.. i'm getting a little headache here writing this guide..

just make sure u got a high end pda so that it wont be sluggish remoting ur pc from your pda.. my pda's processor is TI OMAP 200Mhz.. *sigh* anybody interested of buying me a new high end PDA..?? anyone..?? come on now.. hmm.. occay..

about the remote administrating software.. i am a bit dissapointed actually about the price.. the developer asked for RM2k a month rental for a 24 months contract.. hmm.. it is a bit high on the price for a software function that i can get from multiple freewares.. the good was just it is bundled (not actually as i will get the basic network, system, software inventory without any metering functions n we have to pay for another large sum of money for the optionals) in one server..

look like i have to do more research of remote administration.. hmm..

OSX on Intel.. part 5.. (partitions)

2006-09-19T11:15:00.000+08:00

heh.. it seems it doesnt stop here.. just found out another negative issue about this collaboration..
it seems that using an external harddrive is a bit issue here on Mac.. i thought it has no problem at all as i have only tried it using a thumbdrive.. there was no problem at all using a thumbdrive on both mac and windows.. i can still share all those data and transfer anything within those os..
but, using an external hdd, mac can only read my data from the external drive.. but the drive becomes 'read only'.. if u try to make any changes to the external drive, u will get an error msg '..... cannot be modified'.. i did a little research, and found out that mac cannot write anything on NTFS partition.. it still can read though..
wait a minute.. hmm.. that means the mac os x on my dual boot machine cant write the other partition for windows.. hmm.. yerp.. it can read but it cant write anything.. better than nothing.. better than windows that neither read nor write anything on mac os x partition.. hehe.. do something bill gate$..!! n your micro$oft teams..!!
so, what i did on my externel hdd was i formatted it using 'Disk Utility' on os x.. i formatted the disk into ms-dos partition so that both windows xp and os x can read.. hmm..
but wait.. i got 3 external hdd's.. why should i do this partitioning.. lol.. *nah* just another guide for u guys.. *thank u akeys* la la la..

in your shoes..

2006-09-18T17:02:00.000+08:00

an interesting thing happen during my breakfast with the boys this morning.. one of my collegue suddenly open up a topic of what he has read in the newspaper some time around July.. this year of course.. it was about a boy who has been beaten to death because he was suspected robbing raw rubber from a rubber farm somewhere in malaysia.. he was beaten by the local rubber tappers on one night as they caught him being suspicious in the farm.. i didnt know about the news at all..
but, what has suprise me is that the way my collegue told us the story was like he was blaming those rubber tappers for being unhuman when they beat up that poor boy.. after he stops laughing about the event of beating someone for a small crime, i asked him politely wether i can object to his opinion.. and he said yes..
i told him, if u were the rubber tapper, u know how hard it is to make a living.. especially if u had childrens.. one day u can only earn mostly about rm30 - rm50 per day.. well, i dont know as i have not had the experience as a rubber tapper.. and u have to feed your childrens and your spouse with those money u earn tapping those rubber trees from maybe 0700 til noon.. again, i dont know wether it's true or not.. my source..?? the mass media.. hmm.. and suddenly, when u're ready to take the profit of what u had been doing since early in the morning, it was taken (stolen) by someone else.. tell me, how are u gonna feed your family..?? if it happen even only once, i still thinks that's a big loss for those tappers..
imagine that u're the only one who work for income in the house.. and suddenly, u came back empty handed.. for sure your childrens will be crying due to hungers.. hmm..
and there's one time there was a news on the tube.. about a family that has been slain by Along (local loanshark).. it was believed that the amount that the family owed was RM1k.. someone laughed about it.. he/she said that "just because of RM1k your family have to die too.. it's not a big amount la.." and i was a bit dissappointed by the laughter.. and i told him/her this.. imagine that your on the debtor place.. you're the only one who worked in the house.. and your household income maybe never reached rm500 a month.. and u have to pay for the rent, the utility bills n other things.. of course, the meals u provide your family.. n suddenly, one of your children fell sick and need to be sent to the clinics.. of course it take a lot of money living in this world.. and what choice do u have..?? none.. u have to go to the Along.. hmm.. u calculate the rest..
i'm not in the mood of writing actually.. i'm so tired.. so sleepy.. *sigh* but still, i have to feed myself.. n i just need to be heard..
n actually i'm doing a research of how to disable DirectX and OpenGL in windows.. the students here are uncontrollable.. they stay in the labs til 2000 just for LAN gaming.. i tried not to scold them anymore as i know it would effect myself in the future.. unsatisfied students will take a revenge on us with vandalism.. that's what happened during those time when i was feared by most of the students here.. heh.. n what they do to get back to me..?? they stole those mouse, keyboard and even peripherals.. lucky for me, there's no cases yet in this semester.. hopefully it will stay that way.. if anybody know how to disable DirectX and OpenGL, please let me know.. i'm already stuck.. got this software called 'gamesnomore' from download.com but it's a shareware.. if i disable DirectX directly from it's own settings, of course they can re-enable it back.. i need to know wether i can disable it using policy or not or even a free third-party software.. as i cant find it anywhere..
thanx..

OSX on Intel.. part 4..

2006-09-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

err.. here are some of my screenshots of my OS X..

my 1st machine (a clone pc).. the pic was taken using my 0.3mp HP H6365 PDA phone..

actually, i have added an Asus ATI Radeon 256mb DDR card on this machine.. i'm just too lazy to take another picture of it..

and its screenshots..

notice those MS Office icons on the dock.. word, excel, powerpoint and entourage (some kind of outlook for mac (i think)).. and of course, Mozilla Firefox..

the HP machine screenshot.. the processor speed was mistakenly reported as 4.30 Ghz.. lol.. i'm the first in the whole world to use Intel Pentium 4 4.30Ghz..!! yeay..
the other partition is the NTFS partition of my windows XP Pro.. dual boot.. OS X can read the NTFS partition, but WinXP cant read it..

the HP machine was having the most problems.. it has no ethernet driver, so, basically, i cant try anything except for playing with it's GUI.. *sigh*

osx on intel.. part 3..

2006-09-17T15:22:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i tried to post a screenshot of my mac machine.. but on one of my machine, it didnt detect my ethernet card.. i am using Broadcom chipset NIC.. *sigh* that's one of the cons of using a different OS that is not meant for it.. it didnt detect my graphic card also.. it is ATI Radeon X300.. hmm.. i tried to download the driver from both Apple and ATI website, but still it didnt make any changes to my display.. the display is nice, but i cant change the resolution and there is dead pixels in some of the area at the desktop.. *sigh*..
n i have tried to install Final Cut Studio Pro on this machine.. the installation was going on smoothly without any problems.. and to my surprise the installation for FCSP have taken about 30Gb of my hdd.. and it took about 1 and a half hour to install.. heh.. and the saddest thing is not all of the featured package that has been installed can be use.. i still trying to figure out what is the problem.. i can run LiveType, Soundtrack Pro n some of the other software from the package, but i cant run Final Cut Pro and Motion.. it keeps rejecting whenever i tried to run the software.. i assumed it was due to my un'driver'ed graphic card.. and if i'm not mistaken, PPC machine is using ATI graphic chipset card.. hmm..
there was two students from the university brought their AMD machine to my office to try to install Mac OS X on their machine.. i thought there would be no problems to install on those machines, but i was wrong.. eventhough there was an AMD patch included in the Mac OS X installation DVD, but everytime i tried to boot those machines using the dvd, it gave me a 'kernel panic' error.. the error halt me from installing the OS.. i tried two different version of installation dvd but still, the error was the same..
hmm.. like i said before.. christmas come christmas comes only once in a year..

osx on intel.. part 2..

2006-09-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

well, i've got my copy of Mac OSX last week.. hmm.. dont ask me where did i get it from, just read it through.. i have been trying to install to my machines (plural as i got 1 laptop, 1 PC at home and 3 PCs at my office).. i have tried it on my home pc via vmware workstation 5.. and i have tried to install it on one of my machine at the office using the whole system for it.. it worked for both of em.. a bit slow on vmware though.. my home machine is a Pentium 4 3.0Ghz, 1.5Gb DDR2 RAM, 240Gb of Storage (1 x 80Gb PATA and 2 x 80Gb SATA) and a 256Mb ATI Radeon graphic.. i've allocated 10Gb of storage and 768Mb of memory for the installation of OSX but still, it was slow on performance.. well, what do u expect, an OS on top of other OS..
it is not a problem for my dedicated machine for this project at the office.. it is a Pentium 4 3.0Ghz, 512Mb DDR2 RAM, 40Gb of PATA harddisk and using integrated graphic display.. the operation system went smoothly operating its tasks and it is a great experience using it..
the OSX installation was typical for a technical person like me except for the partitioning part.. it is a bit questionable on why did Apple hide the partitioning utility for a first time installation.. maybe they know that all Mac machines came out from the market with preinstalled OS and if they want to change or upgrade their OS they can just upgrade using an easy upgrade option right from its GUI (graphical user interface).. i have to search thru lots of websites for guides on partitioning such as osx86project, wiki, and some other people's blogs.. some of them gave a useful guides and some of em just SAMO to others.. well, i hope my guide here is not one of the SAMOs..

step 1. get a copy of the installation dvd.. and of course a system of your own.. i dont know about the minimum requirements but u can just do the trial n error.. if it works, good for u, if it doesnt, hmm.. sorry..

step 2. boot from the dvd.. *duh* and it will ask u to hit any key to install Darwin OS or u want an advance option on installation.. hmm.. just hit 'any key' to continue.. and dont ask me where is the 'any key'.. =P

step 3. after it loads up, selects your language.. on the next screen, after the toolbar on top appears, go to 'utility' and select 'disk utility'..

step 4. after the 'disk utility' loads up, select your harddisk, and go to partition.. create your partition.. and name your partition.. i created only one partition and named it 'akeysMac'.. and then go to the 'first aid' tab and verify your disk wether it's occay or not.. after all that, click on 'disk utility' toolbar and selects 'quit disk utility'...

step 5. hmm.. it's based on 'next', 'proceed', 'accept' and 'next' again scheme.. but when it comes to customizing your installation, select 'customize'.. select the option that u wants or deselect anything that u dont want.. if u're using patched dvd, dont forget to install your SSE3 patch or SSE2 patch (intel patches).. and after that, of course click on proceed to start installing your OSX.. after the installation finishes, your machine will reboot.. dont forget to remove the installation dvd..

step 6. if u get the 'b0 error', u have to reboot your machine again and boot using the installation dvd.. when it comes to the 'press any key to install OSX', press F8 for an advance option.. type '-v -s' (without the quotation mark) and press enter.. after the unix shell loads up, type this commands..

fdisk -e /dev/rdisk0 (to enter fdisk program and that's a 0 (zero) not O)
print (to display all partitions)
flag (to make the partition active)
quit (to quit fdisk program and save changes)
reboot (to extract usd500 from your dvdrom.. just kidding.. to restart your computer of course *duh*)

dont forget to take out the installation disk.. only use this step if u're stuck with the 'b0 error'.. if u're not, skip this step..

step 7. after the machine reboots, the user information form is displayed for u to customize your OSX.. first, u have to state your location, and then sets up your keyboard etc..

well, after all that.. voila.. your OSX is ready.. enjoy.. yeay.. thanx akeys..

my machine boots up in less than 10 seconds.. the office machine.. they say that running on intel is slower than the actual Apple machine.. not for me.. anyway, thanx Steve Jobs for making everyone's dreams came true..

smoke gets in my thought..

2006-09-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

hmm.. malaysian 2007 budget has been successfully launched by our prime minister.. well, there are a few things i would love to hear and a few things that i dont want to know at all.. of course the happiest news about the budget was the one month bonus salary for civil servants.. actually, i dont know where to categorized myself in that news.. the university i work for is not directly under civil servants category, but it is a semi-government sector.. half government, half public.. anyway, i dont know why, if mr. prime minister says that there will be a bonus salary, accidently, i got it too.. yeay.. err.. that's why i didnt care so much about which sector that i am in, as long as i get the bonus.. but still, i didnt receive any civil servants specialties such as housing loans, car loans n such.. still, i dont care..
the bad news about the 2007 budget was, as always, there will be a price increase for cigarettes.. hmm.. and *sigh*.. 2006's price for Dunhill 20's is (i think the price havent been increase yet) RM7.00.. mr. prime minister said that there will be an increase of 1 cent per cigarette.. hmm.. that means it will be RM7.20 for my Dunhill 20's.. la la la..
i smoke around 10 - 15 cigarettes per day.. well, it depends actually on my mood.. if i'm too concentrate on my work at home, the amount will increase.. if i'm bored, the amount will increase also.. if i felt a bit tension, still, the amount will increase.. it helps me a lot to control my anger and my hypertension problem.. if u know me in real life, u'll probably thinks that i'm a soft spoken and calm.. (err.. i think so).. actually, i was having an anger management issue while on my teenage year.. i'm a hot blooded person, go to hell with the world n such.. somehow, i manage to control myself and learned to appreciated my life and other people's feelings..
back to the topic.. this will be the time for most people i know that didnt like me smoking to say something like "stop smoking laa.. the price has been increase", "make good use of your money laa instead of burning it to buy cigarettes", "u know what u can do with all the money u spent for your ciggies?" n such.. heh.. and as always, all these comments (like my wife always said) it didnt go thru my ears at all.. and i have my own reasons for that.. and here it is..
heh.. while i was 17, i remember that the price for dunhill 20's was around rm3.50.. and it was half the price for the same amount of ciggies today (well, yesterday i think).. and the government are currently holding a campaign on stop smoking called 'Tak Nak' (wtf..?? lol).. but, did u ever notice that how serious was the government running the Tak Nak campaign..?? there's one person wins RM10k for quitting cigarettes for about 5 months or so.. how can u be sure that he quits for good..?? i dont know, but, if i win that prize, after i have quits for 5 months, i'll buy lots of ciggies and laugh at the government while smoking some expensive cigars.. lol.. especially the campaign manager..
anyway, lots of people told me to quit especially my mom.. my wife, hmm.. she didnt say much.. she even offers me to buy me ciggies if she went to the shop while i was still sleeping (that's a part of why i love u kecheq).. lol.. but, did u guys ever think of this situation..
WHAT HAPPENS IF SUDDENLY ALL MALAYSIAN QUITS SMOKING..??
whoaaaaaa.. like that gonna happen.. heh.. but, to think of it, i know there will be a price hike on all the stuff on the market.. did u guys ever realized how much taxes are the ciggies smokers pay to the government to make sure this country running..?? all the building, road maintenance, fuel subsidies n such.. i did even paid for the construction of klcc, putrajaya, bukit jalil national stadium n such.. heh..
as i said before, the price of the same ciggies i smoke while i was 17 was rm3.50 and now it is rm7.00.. the difference was rm3.50.. all of these years, the tax has been increased for more than 200% within 8 years.. if i remember it right, the ciggies price after the rm3.50 for dunhill 20's was rm3.70 and it increases to rm4.20, rm4.50, rm5.40, rm6.30, rm6.50 and now rm7.00.. and i only remember the price for these ciggies during my smoking period.. not to mention the price before that.. hmm..
what if, there will be no more ciggies in the market.. the price for sugar will be rm2.50 per kilo (now it is rm1.50 per kilo).. the price for fuel will go up.. u have to pay rm6.50 for a plate of fried maggi (maggi goreng) or maybe rm2.50 for a piece of roti canai at the sidewalk mamak stall..
heh.. u think about it again.. how much ciggies smokers pays for your daily expenses.. we (the ciggie smokers) pays more taxes than u do to make sure u can have a better living.. we pays our taxes everyday to make sure u have a cheaper maggi goreng and teh tarik.. to make sure u can travel to your destination in cheaper rate.. think of our sacrifices.. dont ask me to quit again.. about my health, it's my health.. if i die, u're the one who spends my insurance money.. not me.. how can i spend it all..?? i'm sure u wouldnt make my tombstone out of gold..
hehehe..
as usual, it is just my tormented thoughts.. and again, i dont want to offend anyone here.. if u do, well, stop reading my blogs.. it's mine.. if u want something nicer, write your own.. lol.. remove me from your bookmark.. dang.. i'm getting emotional.. lol.. and sorry for this another long post.. well, if u dont like it, ..... maybe i should stop writing for now.. ta ta..

OSX on Intel..

2006-08-30T11:11:00.000+08:00

yeay.. finally.. Mac OS X is available on Intel platform.. the most awaited moments for most computer geeks..
well, actually, there has been a discussion about this move from Apple.. wether it's a good move or not.. hmm.. for me there are always been pros and cons for this move from Apple.. it's depend on users wether to exploit it or make a good use of this opportunity.. i dont know wether this good news has reached malaysia or not.. wait, i have to search from their site for a moment.. hmm.. whoa.. of course they've reached malaysia.. RM579 for a single user licence, RM899 for a family pack of 5 licences.. and all of a sudden, my palm itches.. heh..
come to think of it.. by the end of the year, there will be more OS X running on Intel based pc.. and this means there will be more profit for the pirates.. i remembered how micro$oft said that the biggest pirate bay was in South East Asia.. lol.. as always, n i dont know y, those westerners always look at asians in a negative ways.. but when it comes to prostitution, heh, asian is a heaven for them.. how come they didnt see anything about their own software pirate.. and i named a few of them such as 'the piratebay', 'astalavista', 'demonoid' n much more.. of course users like me always make use of these opportunityto get the latest, cool stuff for free.. and dont worry, if i do like 'em, i will try to make sure i get the original and licenced unit.. if i think it doesnt worth my $, the 'Add/Remove Software' icon will be busy..
and in my opinion, i dont know wether Steve Jobs are doing this to help people who cant afford to buy PowerPC machines or he just tries to follow Bill Gates move on monopolying (huh?) the pc market.. and again, the users will now have to decide wether to choose Windows or Mac OS X.. *sigh*.. maybe, end of this year, i predict that in the internet, Jobs name will be change to $teve Job$.. lol.. who can decide.. of course, we do.. the power of buyers..

long silence..

2006-08-28T15:33:00.000+08:00

hmm.. sorry for not posting anything for a long time.. it was almost two or three weeks now.. hmm.. a bit busy here.. with the shocking event that struck my family members, and i was still researching for info on my current project..
hmm.. bout the event, i cant say much about that as not all of my family members knew about it (although i think they knew).. i just hope that person will find the strength that he/she needs within our own family (not from some strangers).. our families shoulder are always ready to support u guys and are always ready to bare the pain together.. maybe we didnt show it as much as u needed, but still, believe me, WE CARE.. nobody wants these kind of event in their live but still, fate is always in Allah's hands.. it's up to us on how we accept the fate.. and a little advise from me.. throw away those ego.. please.. u wont gain anything from that ego in this kind of situation.. this time, it wont help u much.. eventhough u said that u can accept the afterlife, i knew u still trying to reach for the pastlife.. struggling.. and it hurts our hearts so much to know that.. we dont want anything like this at all.. no more changes needed..u dont have to beg for the pastlife, i think the truth can mend everything.. remember this..
which one is better..?? a bitter truth or a sweet lie..??
hmm.. about my project.. i was just trying to explore UNIX system right now.. yeah, i know it's too late for me to learn.. most of my friends are already recognized as well known geek hackers.. heh.. i fell in love with OSX Tiger from the PowerMAC G5 from the university i work for and i had just found out that OSX was a UNIX based OS.. so, what i need to do now is start back from the scratch.. i had a little experience on Linux back on my 'golden years' and seriously, those experience has been volatiled completely due to lack of practise.. *sigh*.. if only i choose the path that my friends took after skool.. most of them explored those open source life straight away from the beginning, while i was busy searching for work experience.. but then, if i chosed that path, i think i wont be here now.. i wont be married to Kecheq, i wont be having a neurotic cat @ home, i wont be working here in this place i'm currently blogging, and i even wont be having this kind of life.. maybe it would be much nicer life, or maybe it would be much worst life.. whatever it is, i still thanked Allah for everything He gave me and for everything He will give me in the future.. Alhamdulillah..
i'll try to post again soon.. sorry to keep u guys waiting..

sigh..

2006-08-10T02:17:00.000+08:00

*sigh* i dunno y, everytime i launched YIM, there will be an offline msg left by some of my friends.. it would be a msg that said, "stop Israels attack by not buying this and that", "the malay girl who turn to christian case" and so on.. i dunno what their intention is but i want to make a statement here.. i know your intention is good, but what u're doing is wrong.. not that i'm against u guys or i support Israel or the 'murtad' girl, it's just that what the use of spreading the words to other ppl..?? there are reasons y i hate this things..
about boycotting stuff from certain countries.. i know that some of u guys are just making it up.. remember the case where on of the favourite fast food in malaysia, Maggi was labeled not safe for muslim to eat due to someone claiming that Maggi was using some non-halal stuff..?? did Maggi was stopped from being in the market..?? hmm.. i dont think so.. and there was a case where some people claimed that they made a study of some foods in malaysia.. and the results were shocking.. most of them are using non-halal ingredients.. but.. heh.. did the foods disappered from the market..?? i dont think so.. i remember that someone passed on some fliers while i was on my way to Friday prayer in '97.. they claimed that the major drinks suppliers in malaysia was using their trucks to transport porks to major supermarkets to avoid detection.. huh..?? at that time, my uncle was one of the truck driver of that company.. and he laughed about it.. he said that it was a hoax done by someone who got fired from the company.. his intention were to bring down the company of course.. *sigh* again.. i want to ask u guys a question.. if the so-called company has been claimed of using non-halal ingredients in their products, how come that their products still in the market..?? did the JAKIM (think so) didn't do their job of making sure non-halal can't reach Muslim..?? y didn't the government do something if the products has been studied and proven guilty of using non-halal ingredients..?? i remembered last year the greatest hoax started by one of the biggest tabloid in malaysia.. and to tell u the truth, i hate that tabloid.. let me give u a clue.. HM.. figure that out.. heh.. about sausage.. lol.. at that time i received an email saying something like this.. "all the brands of sausage makers in malaysia are using pork meats in their sausage.. except for one.. the 'R' brand.. so, buy the 'R' brand".. lol.. wasn't that obvious..?? that some from the 'R' brand are trying to bring down their competitors..?? maybe God try to show them something after 5-6 months later the 'R' company being sued of polluting.. the factory was near to my home.. how i wish i could laugh in front of them.. come on guys.. think of the logics.. why did the brand still markets their products eventhough 'someone' studied that non-halal ingredients was used in the products..?? i dont think that they can bribe JAKIM to let them go.. if JAKIM was bribed, they would surely knows that they will be burn in hell for letting muslims in this country eat something non-halal.. please stop the hoax..
and about the girl who tried to 'murtad'.. as i said before, the last msg that i got was she has been successfully converted to christian.. *sigh* i hope she burned in the deepest of hell for that.. but, i still dont agree with some of the actions that has been taken by some irresponsible people that has been spreading this news.. what did u expect by the msg "we have to stop this.. please forward this and please dont just delete this msg" n such..?? are u hoping by forwarding the message u can stop people from converting..?? come on la.. didnt u know that what u have done was actually encouraging someone to convert..?? let me give u an example.. some boy, aged below 18 launching his YIM and got that msg.. 'some girl has successfully converted by winning her case in malaysia'.. and this boy thinks, "wow, now i can converted coz i surely can win just like that girl".. *sigh*.. can't u guys think of that..?? a truth sometimes are better be left untold.. i remembered that the tabloid, HM, trying to create a propaganda by disclosing a case of students marking the chins with a line using a coin that has been heated.. that case was in the northern side of malaysia.. it was around '95.. i used to hang out at Sg Wang at that time.. and i remembered that a week before that disclosure the kids at Sg Wang was normal.. err.. actually, a bit normal.. but after the f**king tabloid write about that phenomenon, suddenly, almost 70% of the kids hanging out at sg wang has a marking on their chins.. wtf..?? hey HM.. are u glad that your sales are good..?? didnt u care that some people are ruined by your so-call studies..?? u're making money by doing a bad thing.. *sigh* again..
i know most of u guys have heard of the magazine that told some supernatural storied.. i want to call them as 'M'.. i know u guys can guess correctly.. i just hate their approach on supernatural cases in malaysia.. how they sold their zines by telling other people about some people's not so good situation.. how this man was hard to be buried after his death due to his bad deeds during his life.. how this woman was suffering of vomitting blood and maggots a few hours before she died.. hmm.. i wonder how did the families feels about that.. humiliated..?? of course.. i know that the 'M' was in good intention by telling stories that we cant do bad things while we're still breathing.. but, i just hate the fact that they're making money out of humiliating other people.. pity for the victim's families.. when they go out on public, people would say, "hey, he's the son of the man who can't be buried due to his bad deeds".. *sigh* again..
as i said before.. some things are are better be left untold.. to all my friends who just love to mass forwarding this kind of messages, please think before taking any action.. same advice for those who loves to mass forward emails of this kind of things.. hmm.. then again.. this is just my tormented thoughts..

sandwich..

2006-08-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

bought myself a HWM malaysia two days ago.. didnt have the time to read it on the day itself, but today, i manage to read almost all the articles in there.. or maybe browsing thru.. heh.. HWM is a zine that displays all the new gadgets and hardware straight from the manufacturer.. sometime the gadgets is not available yet in malaysian market, but somehow the HWM team manage to get those item first.. yeah i know that manufacturer sends their product to HWM for a review and thats why they get to know the product first in malaysia.. i wish i'd work for HWM as the tester for the new gadgets.. everytime i bought the zine and everytime i browse thru them, my head would be shaking.. all those new gadgets makes me wonder, i wish i could buy all those things.. am i a gadget freak..?? i think so.. 80% of me.. i asked the question my wife a few minutes ago, before she went to sleep.. she said maybe.. heh.. HWM made a review on the latest Windows Mobile phones and i still thinks that O2 Atom's the best.. but HWM says that Atom was a sure attract womens gadget, but i still thinks that i would be thanking Gos if i could own one.. and for sure i would be thanking anyone that is so kind to buy me one.. heh.. i wish.. my current PDA phone is HP H6365.. an early 2005 model.. TI OMAP processor that runs on 200mhz.. nowadays, all the pda phone are run on 400+ processor.. but i still love my phone due to the big screen for me to browse the applications..
owh, before i forgot.. on the day i bought the zine, me n my wife was having a dinner at Sate Hj Samuri, Medan Mara.. i'm sure many of u has tried the satay before if u're a malaysian.. but.. hehe.. have u ever make sure the amount of satay that arrived on your table tally with the amount that u ordered..?? on that day, somehow, i counted the satay sticks.. just to make sure.. we've ordered 15 sticks of chicken satay, 10 sticks of beef satay and 5 sticks of 'perut' satay.. and as i expected (as i have been thru this before), it was only 12 sticks of chicken satay arrived.. heh.. it was the second time at the same place.. dunno wether the seller does it on purpose or what.. luckily, i'm the patience kind of guy type.. i politely ask for the remaining 3.. heh.. a little advise for u guys.. try to count those sticks before u eat.. 3 x RM0.60 = RM1.80.. i can use the RM1.80 for a ride on LRT back to our house.. la la la..
and still, the queue problem in malaysia can not be helped.. as always, even there's a queue, people would cut it.. dunno why.. maybe they're proud to do that.. or maybe they're having a problem with queues.. they just can't queue.. maybe if i charge RM1 to those people who loves to cut queues that i encountered in everyday's life, i could be a millionaire in a short time.. if i kill those people maybe i would be called a serial killer due to lots of murders..
oh yeah.. 'Rockstar' was aired on local tube last night.. i just love the Steel Dragon songs (and the movie of course).. especially 'We All Die Young'.. Mark Wahlberg plays a good rockstar in the movie.. did you know that Mark Wahlberg is really a singer.. and if i'm not mistaken, he sings hiphop instead of rock.. but, all those song he sings in the movie was not using his own voice..
all these events written in one post.. that's a sandwich to me.. my wife ask me, did i post anything on my blog today..?? i had a lot in my mind to write.. i can create 3 - 4 posts in a day.. but i think it's better i write it all in one post..

another boring day..

2006-08-01T18:27:00.000+08:00

*sigh*.. i dont know what to do.. it seems like there's no work for me right now.. actually, that's my problem during every semester in this university.. everytime a new semester starts, i got no work to do.. only if there's a case of IT failure, i will be running here and there.. if nothing happens, hmm.. i will be sitting bored in my room.. but when the semester break period comes, i got no time even for a smoke.. i would spend my time in the labs.. but then, in a year, there was approximately 3 months of semester break, and the rest of the months will be a boring day for me in the office..
i had just finish up the game 'Lord of The Ring - Battle for Middle Earth 2'.. it took me 4 days to finish it up.. all the good campaigns and evil campaigns were done within those 'no work to be done' time.. heh.. i even managed to influence one of my collegue here to play the game.. heh.. unlucky for us that we cant compete in a network game.. *sigh*.. it'll be fun for sure..
am i a gamer..?? err.. my wife told me that i am a gamer.. she even give me a a papercutting titled 'how to know if you're a gamer'.. i can only remember a few of 'em, and of of them was 'there will be an indented mark on your computer chair', 'u'll be talking in elvish in your everyday communication' n such.. heh..
as i'm writing this post, i'm burning DVD copies of Mospeada that i got from a collegue of mine.. do u remember Mospeada.. i didn't recall the name at first when cayak mention it to me last two weeks.. it was one of the version of Robotech in the 90's.. the one that the bike u ride can turn into a mecha on a push of a button.. i saw the series during my skool days..
err.. what to do next to kill my time..?? err.. i dont know.. please suggest something..!!

firewalled..??

2006-07-31T12:23:00.000+08:00

dang.. it's kinda hard to blog in here.. the connection was so slow that i have to try over n over again.. anyway, back to the topic..
in this office, the IT administrator has blocked all instant messaging services due to students abusing lab usage.. but, they have automatically blocked the staff's connection to instant messaging.. they said they have VPN on each floors in this building to make sure that no mix up between students network and staffs network.. but logically, if they block any access to the students network, the staff network wouldnt be affected.. but now, i cant get thru any instant messaging.. hmm.. and most of the staff who uses IM especially Yahoo Messenger has complaint to me and i would just said that it was not my fault.. and i promised a solution for them.. and here it is..
firstly, download HTTP-Tunnel.. no need for me to tell u guys where to find the software.. there's a lot of search engine out there.. or u can just use the search google option on top and bottom of my blog page.. :P u will give me some income though.. heh.. after u've downloaded the software, install that software by doing the typical next-and-next-i agree- next scheme..
after the installation, run the software.. no need to configure anything.. just set it at 'no proxy, only a firewall'.. after that, run YM.. before u click on connect, on the username / password page, click on 'messenger' option.. and click connection preference..
click on 'use proxies'.. and tick the 'Enable SOCKS Proxy'.. on the server name, type '127.0.01'.. most of u should know that it was supposed to be '127.0.0.1' for a loop IP or localhost IP.. but dont know why, just type '127.0.01' instead of '127.0.0.1'.. it was an alias for '127.0.0.1' as yahoo has block the localhost IP but they didnt (or forgets to) block the alias.. the server port should be set to '1080'.. and set the proxy to version 5.. click on 'apply' and of course 'ok'..
now, try to login to ym.. voila.. it works for me.. =P
p/s : there would be a bit of confusions if u're using this methods.. your ym will be a little 'pening'.. heh.. and one more thing.. i hope this information will not get leak to the students here in this university as it will bring problems for me.. just wanna share it with friends..

man and woman..

2006-07-30T22:01:00.000+08:00

i've just watched 'the break-up' featuring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn with my wife.. it's a nice movie due to not a typical fantasy relationship and more to realistic about relationship.. what i like about the movie was it reflects the life of a typical relationship.. what the man expects from the woman, and vice versa.. hmm..
in the movie, a little spoiler here, the end was not a typical 'and they live happily ever after'.. but, in the process of trying to make each other happy, or miserable, they tried so hard to express themselves of what they truly feel of each other.. the woman, tried so hard to make sure everything she had done for the man would be appreciated and the man, as usual, trying not to be losing his ego in life and trying to make sure their relationship and life together would be perfect..
hmm.. for me, the woman should not feel that way as u should know that every man really appreciate anything that u do.. we, men, dont express our gratitude in a physical way but truly, we respect u womens.. anything u have done for us are truly appreciated.. me myself tried so hard to make sure anything that my wife has done for would be appreciated.. i tried to say thanks eventhough that is a responsibility of a wife or a partner.. i know for it feels to be not appreciated.. been there.. everytime.. it feels like an arrow went straight thru your heart everytime your work or your contribution were mistakenly praised.. "hey, i did that.. not them.." "hey, i did something, say thank you.." no, not that i'm the type who would want to be praise each time i done something.. but please, say some gratitude.. and i tried so hard to make sure it doesn't happened to anyone that done something for me..
and about that man from the movie, he should not do something like "hey, i bring money for the family to eat, to live, so i dont have to do anything else.." huh.. it was a bit too much for an ego.. he should be working with the partner inside their family to make sure the smiles in the relationship was not fake..
actually, it happens in all families and relationship.. the man with his ego, the woman with her pride.. like i said before, try to bend for the sake of the relationship.. if your partner demands something, try to listen.. maybe he/she wouldn't say it out loud, but please, be aware.. open up your eyes and ears.. in the woman case, have you ever say thank you to your partner or husband for anything he had done for u.. u demands appreciation but did u gave them some..?? and the man.. how would u feel if the table turns.. the woman brings money in the house and she just hang out in the house doing nothing.. how would u feel..?? i bet the ego will say something like this "so what.. i'm the man of the house.. my wife/partner should listen to me.." heh.. try to be in her shoes.. if i'm the woman, i would just leave him.. let him find some woman that can realise his dream life..
another thing that a bit funny in the film was the typical life of a woman.. i laughed so hard about it.. in my heart actually.. my wife would kill me if she saw me laughing.. woman in trouble.. they will always try to find someone to talk to.. err.. actually, not talking.. just someone to listen to their problems.. if they had problems, they would call someone and told everything about their problem and hoping for a solution.. lol.. and usually they would listen to the other party eventhough they have brain to think, they have mind to decide.. and men in problems.. they would just find something to do to enjoy theirselves.. to forget the troubles.. they would go to some bars for a drink and such.. not that men always trying to run from the problem.. as for me.. it's a good way to clear your mind for the next step.. instead of telling someone else about your problem and being surprised that another person knew about it also on the next day.. who can shut a human mouth..?? what i can see and understand about a woman is that they just cant keep something to themselves.. they just need to tell someone especially their best friends about it.. what can your best friends do about it..?? listen..?? or u just need someone to feel sorry for u..?? u just need someone to know that the man has done something bad to u..?? have u womens called up your friends each time your man buy something for u..?? done something good for u..?? sacrifices their life to be with u..?? did u told your good friends about it..?? and u demand some appreciation..?? lol..
i remember that i grew up in an era where most of the songs i heard in radio was about relationship.. the women either solo or groups sings a song about being cheated, mistreated, anything bad that had been done by their men.. and the men would sing a song about how much they cherish their relationship, saying their sorry n such.. how sad is that..?? but when i heard about the song 'F**k It' by Eamon i was a bit surprised.. hmm.. that's new.. but still, the women hates to lose.. the sing the same song but a change of lyrics.. i cant remember who sang it..
*sigh* what a lovely world that i'm living.. the men will always be bad.. and the women will always be the one who suffers.. for me and my wife, i tried so hard to make sure i did not do anything bad to her.. i try to restrain myself from hurting her.. i know she's trying too.. i hope anything i wrote above wouldnt affects anyone.. it was just my tormented thoughts..

back to kl..

2006-07-30T16:36:00.000+08:00

got home from malacca around 2100.. eventho we arrived at pudu station around 1900.. we went straight home but the traveling to our home-sweet-home was a bit.. *sigh* a lot of things happens while waiting for a ride to our home from the lrt station..
abah was very energetic when we're at his house.. he was busy gaardening at the back of the house when i was trying to surprise him as we reached the house.. kecheq didn't let them know first that we're coming back.. and it was nearly a tragedy trying to surprising an aging man with rake on his hand.. he nearly swing the rake to me but luckily his consciences get to him before his move.. lol..
mak was very talkative as ever to us especially her beloved daughter.. they were talking and talking in the kitchen, the room, the living room, and almost everywhere.. heh.. my wife bought them dinner of nasi goreng ayam and nasi goreng daging merah and surprisingly abah ate the whole pack of nasi goreng ayam.. as usual, mak ate only half of it.. we tried to persuaded her but still, we can't do anything about it..
in the morning, we helped them doing the house chores.. kecheq was helping mak and i was a bit blurred figuring out what to help them.. lastly, i just helped abah burning the dried leaves and grasses.. an arsonist in the making.. yeah..!! we plucked some rambutans at the back of the house and it was a lot of them the last time we went back to malacca but it was a few left.. abah said that kak ngah and company were back on last weekend and the boys has taken most of the rambutans.. heh..
and as usual, mak was crying by the time we're about to leave the house.. a very sad scene but we have to go back to kl to continue our daily life..
met one of the ex-student of the university we worked for and he was one of my tennis player.. he said that currently he worked in the semigovernment sector in malacca..
we ordered some Domino's pizzas as soon as we reached home as we're too tired to eat outside or even cooked.. the delivery was late and we got a free pizza coupon for it.. heh.. we love u Domino's..!!
we slept from 2300 and i was in shock when i found out it's already 1500 when i woke up.. currently oyen was screaming his lungs out at the door and i dont know why.. he's doing his routing of flying kick the door while screaming.. wish i could get a video of him doing the flying kick and upload it here..
got to be ready for work tomorrow and hmm.. *sigh*

busy day..

2006-07-28T13:22:00.000+08:00

got a busy day today..
first, got to take my wife to Pusrawi again.. she got an appointment with the doctor after the last appointment that was supposed to be on last saturday was cancelled.. the reason was a bit funny cause the hospital staff demanded a Guarentee Letter from our company before she can see the doctor.. and we didnt knew anything about it, and me and my wife have to rescheduled the appointment today.. well, the appointment went well.. the doctor says that err.. something me n my wife should keep it to ourself..
after the appointment, we went to National Library for a breakfast, or should i say 'brunch'.. the cafe there provides lots of variation of foods, but the cafe owner (maybe) seems a bit rude.. when we asked for a spoon, she told us that they didnt wash the last batch of dishes yet.. if we wanna wait, it would take time and arrogantly she told us to use the plastic spoon.. the type of spoon that would break easily into two.. while we're eating, we were lucky that one of the staff took out the metal spoon and quickly i grab two of them for me and my wife.. i think i wont go to the cafe anymore..
after the brunch, we went to Plaza Rakyat to buy tickets for us to go back to my wife's hometown in Malacca.. we bought ourself the 1530 tickets.. maybe we will be back to home tomorrow evening.. poor oyen.. another night without us..
we went back home after that and straight to the restaurant within the apartment compund.. we had a simple lunch and there was a cute cat (i think he was oyen's sibling due to the way it interacts with humans).. a bit skinny though compared to oyen.. that cat was called 'tompok' by the woman from the laundry shop next to the restaurant..
hmm.. currently, my wife's packing our things for the trip to malacca.. i was a bit tired due to work days after a long holidays.. well, hope everythings fine in malacca.. hopefully abah and mak will be happy that we're coming back..

warded.. again..??

2006-07-25T10:07:00.000+08:00

seems to me it is a week of hospitalisation to anyone near me.. first, it was my wife, who was warded due to food poisoning.. after that, my father-in-law.. he has hypo on glucose..
and now, on last saturday, a friend of mine, azmin, involved in an car accident and as u know it, warded @ ampang puteri.. he broke his collarbone and the doctor may have to implant some iron to attach his bone back..
yesterday, on monday morning, another friend of mine, suhaili aka matsu was admitted due to suspected dengue fever.. he was warded @ pusrawi, jalan tun razak.. the same hospital that my wife have been warded..
lol.. dont know why.. i felt like to story wouldnt end soon.. a few months before, there was an incident like this.. close relatives of my office has passed away and it was 5 cases in 10 days time.. it was pretty shocking but who am i to stop it all..??
all i can do now is hoping and praying that i will be healthy and if Allah destined me to die in any time, i hope my last word will be Allah's name.. Amin..

Ego..

2006-07-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

hmm.. twolips ask me about ego.. what good things about being egoistic..
as i said before.. if u knew me in real life, u wouldnt believe or maybe u wouldnt try to consume everything that's coming out from my thoughts.. i'm just too young to write anything about life.. but with the pain and suffering and memories that i earned during these years, i think i know how to handle life.. my life..
lol.. that sentence sounds a bit egoistic to me.. part of me says that i shouldnt wrote something like that, but most of me says that i need everybody to know me.. not to understand me.. i never asked to be understand.. just want everybody know how i feel, what am i thinking, and that's it..
good things about being ego..?? this i quote from someone i knew.. "your ego makes you 'expensive'.." that person looked at my ego in a positive way.. and that was a long time ago.. i try to understand it, and after some times thinking bout it, i agreed to that person.. it makes people try to know you better.. why..?? try to learn about me through all my post in the past or future..
i know most of u guys know someone who u cant accept his/her ego.. and twolips.. how about i answer your question with another question.. sorry.. i know it's kind of rude..

WHAT IS BAD THINGS ABOUT BEING EGO..??

does it makes people hate u..?? for me, it's not.. actually, it's all started when people labeled 'ego' as a bad thing.. actually, i just searched thru wikipedia, ego is more towards self-interest.. as a common person, we loves to nod when someone we respected for example our parents say something that makes u think.. what if, someone younger than u says something that makes u think.. u would probably said "what did u know..?? you're younger than me.." in another word, experiences..
define experience please.. what makes u say that some older than u have more experiences than u and how can u say that u have more experiences than someone younger than u..?? if the elder person just spending his/her life in their house lying on their bed and then quote something that u have never think of, would u say that he/she is experienced based on their age..?? heh.. i just know someone will be pissed after reading this post and i would like to apologize in advance.. it's not related to someone dead or alive.. i'm not trying to create a controversy..
back to ego.. say, if u look at it on a positive side, it does makes u 'expensive'.. u got to know yourself better.. u dont have to care about others (being a candle that burns yourself to die and let other people happy).. u starts to respect yourself more than u respect others.. did i starts to think i'm better than anyone else..?? nope.. i learned from others by using my ego.. how..?? i try not to ask for opinion from anyone.. i try to observe others by their body language.. i try to observe my surroundings before i make my move.. sorry kecheq for the next sentences.. most of the people that know me in real life ask me, why did i choose my wife..?? instead of someone bla bla bla.. hmm.. i know my reasons.. and i'm happy that i made that decision.. even twolips.. remember the time u, kecheq n me went to gazebo subang during the time i was just knew kecheq n her families..?? u try to say good things about her n her brother (your husband).. and remember what i said to u..?? "sorry Long.. not that i dont want to hear it.. it's just that i want to know her myself.. why should i hear from other people instead of asking herself to know her..??" that's an ego statement.. does the ego statement makes me a bad person..??
*sigh* people.. please.. change your mindset.. instead of trying to bend other people's ego, try to bend yourself to fit their egoistic minds.. u could not change other people.. u have only one choice.. change yourself to make sure u'll be accepted in their life..
do not try to bend the spoon.. just realised the truth.. that it is not the spoon that bends.. it is only yourself..
and then what happens..?? the spoon bends according to his mind.. from what movie..?? the top of my favourite movie.. it teaches me a lot about life.. about choices.. about logics.. i will try to explain about it later on..
and sorry again if my post disturbs anyone.. sorry if my post change your perception towards me.. it's just my tormented thoughts..

respect.. part 2..

2006-07-22T03:32:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna start this post by trying to define how i saw man and woman..
man.. his most precious value in his life is 'ego'.. there's no man in this world that i've ever encountered has never stood up for his ego.. even me.. i used to love my ego.. on my golden ages.. heh.. for those u knows me in real life would probably says that i'm still young and 'fresh'.. yeah.. i'm below 30 years of age.. but i dont know how, but my 'tormented thoughts' somehow teaches me to grew up a bit faster than anyone for the same age as mine.. i dont know what u thinks.. hmm.. ego lies in every man.. if there's too much of 'em and it will makes u hated by others especially woman, and lack of 'em makes u being called 'sissy' by another man.. hmm.. maybe.. right now, i'm still traiing myself to control my ego as i knew that it wont make things better, but it would turn back and hit me back somehow..
woman.. her most precious value is 'pride'.. err.. that's what i saw in most of the woman i knew.. they would just hate it when some man said to them that they have an ego, but still deep down in these womans, i know they are proud of it.. but, i'm gonna label it as 'pride'.. these pride thingy that makes some women very precious, and some of them makes them being unwanted..
in most of the times in my life, i've been thru a lot of things involving friends, families, lovers (sorry kecheq), enemies (sorry 'friend') etc wether a man or a woman.. i saw they would love being respected by others especially by someone younger, someone on lower rank, or anyone.. by how do they gain their respect..?? well, from my observations, some of them tries to gain some respect by using a physical method, and some of them uses verbal methods.. and me, i just love logical methods.. heh.. tell me, is there any boarding school that never had a case of ragging and bullying..?? or in a work environment.. is there any offices that never had a situation where the boss wouldn't be bossing around telling others to do their work..?? what do they gain from these situation..?? of course.. respect.. why..?? ego and pride..
why logical, u might ask.. i uses logics to differentiate all the situation that requires me to act.. in example.. while having a lunch or dinner, u logically have to excuse yourself if u have to get up wether to wash your hands, to get some tissues from the counter, to pay for the bills etc.. u dont just get up and go to wash your hands.. it would be nice if u just say a simple thingy like "i'm going to wash my hand.." just a little notification.. u won't get to be labeled as rude.. it would be the lowest act of respect towards other people.. and guess what people would think of u after those notification..?? 90% of the people would think that u're a nice person.. and what would do to u..?? your percentage of respect will increase a bit.. and vice versa.. u know what i mean..
i dont know why.. it's 0400 here.. and i'm a bit moody right now.. maybe coz i can't sleep.. it's been a tough week for me.. i've been going in and out of clinics and hospital more than 80% of the days in the last 7 days.. i didn't go to work for 5 days.. not that i missed my office, but i just feeling guilty for my responsibility to the one that pays my meals everyday.. but still.. my responsibility to my family are always my priorities..
back to the topic.. have u ever thought by the end of the day that what u did today creates a sweet memories to the one that u encounters..?? or did u leaved a bad memories to them..?? and how about those people..?? how did your memories about them..?? or should i say perception..?? is it the same as u did yesterday..?? or should i give u a simple example.. after reading this, how would u feel about me..?? a bad grammar..?? someone who tried to be an angel..?? someone that knocks the closed doors of your inner thoughts..?? and how should i feel while i'm writing these.. would it effects someone..?? maybe.. would i like what he/she thoughts about me after reading these..?? up to u.. (that's ego).. but i just hope that no one would be hurt by anything that i wrote in here.. i'm just trying to opened up your minds against the typical mindset of a... hmm.. u fill it yourself.. want me to give u a choice..?? local Malaysian maybe..?? local husbands/wives..?? kid who are still trying to know the world..??
hmm.. respect.. actually, there are a lot to be talk about.. some of the people close to me says that i wrote a hell of long topics.. negatively thinking : they are actually saying that i wrote something that i somehow mumbling or grumbling or gibberish.. positively thinking : u wrote a lot.. err.. that's it i think..
i used to be a negative thinker as a local typical people in this country.. and someone taught me to look at the good side of any situations even tragedies.. and i quote 'everything happens for a reason'.. thanks a lot for that person changed my mindset.. but still.. all these writing are my tormented thoughts..

2006-07-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

hmm.. this week's chapter hasn't ended yet.. somehow, there's an episode each day..
my father-in-law was hospitalised today.. he was low on sugar.. it was not the first time he was admitted..
me n my wife got a call from my wife's sister telling us about her dad.. my wife called her mom at Melaka and she asked us to come back to their hometown in Melaka.. it was hard for us as we didnt have any transport and all the tragedies that happened to us during this week.. all we can promise to her is that we can only be back by saturday..
and suddenly, my wife's sis-in-law called and invited us to go to the hospital with them.. and we hurried packing and meet them at the guard house..
as we arrived there, there was all the closest relative who was with Abah from the morning.. and when we saw abah, he was a little energetic but he still need to be monitored..
pray for us.. again.. thank you..

fever

2006-07-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i got a fever.. dont know why but it all started the night before.. my body ached and i cant sleep at all.. and by the time i woke up on yesterday morning, my temperature was high (as my wife told me)..
went to the nearest clinic for a medical checkup, and the doctor gave me two days of mc including today.. i spent the whole day sleeping since 1600 to 0800 today..
up til now, my body still aching especially my back.. my wife kinda force me to eat to make sure i can consume the midicines that the doctor gave me yesterday.. still, i lost my appetite and i dont know what i want to eat.. maybe we'll go to the mamak stall after this for a roti canai.. *sigh*
an another bad news for me.. my laptop was broken by the time i open the lid.. there's the connector between the lid and the body that's kind of tight lately and today, the connector was broken into two.. lucky for me that there was two of them.. and currently, the lid was held only by one of them.. *sigh* and still my laptop can be turn on and i still can do my work here..

warded part 4..

2006-07-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

finally, wy wife is out from the hospital.. and the one that most happy about it is surely oyen.. heh.. by the time i opened the door of our house, oyen reached for my wife.. he asked for a big family hug.. and surely, we gave him one..
we reached our house around 2030.. actually, the doctor discharged my wife around 1130.. but the process of billing, as we're using the insurance card (provided by the company we worked for), it takes about 8 hours to process.. the nurse told us that we should declared that we want to use the card by the time my wife was hospitalised..
the night my wife fell sick (friday night), we chosed Pusrawi because they were one of the panel hospital of our office.. and it was the nearest to our office.. i think i still didnt explain that me n my wife work under one roof.. n when i registered her @ pusrawi, i told the attendent that we'll be charged under MARA.. and the nurse ask me to forward a letter to my HR officer declaring that my wife work for MARA.. it's call the guarantee letter.. (i think)
suddenly this morning, the HR officer told me that if a case of hospitalization, we have to use the insurance card provided by our company using a third party insurance company.. i was thinking that's it a kind of dissapointment as she told me a few hours before my wife was discharged.. one of my friend that has been hospitalised around february this year already told me that the process of verification takes about 2-3 hours.. i know it would be a problem if we use the insurance card.. so, my nightmare came true.. the nurse warned me about the process would take a few hours.. and she was right.. but it was more than 8 hours..
actually, if our company declared about the use of the card, and the differences between using insurance card and panel clinics or hospitals, it would be this way.. by the time i registered my wife, i would use that card.. i tried to use the card before when i went to HUKM due to my fractured wrist on August last year, but the hospital rejects the card.. they said that it cant be use for cases under RM50.. huh..?? now i know why.. it takes hours to process.. that's why they didn't accept it even though the hospital cost me n wife more than RM100.. but they were smart to make the charges in split bills and each bills costs less than RM50..
but then, what the hell.. my wife is safe n occay now.. she's taking a rest inside our room.. and oyen's happy about it.. that's all that matters.. thanks to all that prays for her..

warded part 3..

2006-07-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

yeah.. it's already the third day my wife being warded @ pusrawi.. the doctor said that they have to monitor her for diarrea.. i don't know.. she looks fine to me.. but then, the doctor knows better than i do.. he should as he was paid to do that..
my wife said that she missed the kids so much especially oyen.. oyen is our orange cat.. he's kinda neurotic, naughty, hyperactive, sweet, myob cat type.. but still, he's the heart of this family.. hmm.. oyen missed his mama too of course.. he kept crying for his mama everytime i went back alone.. he was like asking "mama mane..??" (where's mama..??) everytime i open the door of our house.. and he keep asking for his mama when i went to the bathroom for a shower.. it's a kind of his ritual to keep my company while i take a shower after i went back from anywhere.. and by the time i finished my shower, he would just run to the living room to make sure my wife is there.. but currently as my wife is in the hospital, he was like a little lost.. he kept crying n crying for my wife to come out and make sure she is here for him.. actually, oyen got a little problem or should i say a phobia of being left alone in the house.. as me and my wife's working and went out from the house from 0730 til sometimes at night around 2100, he got a little bit worried if me n my wife have to go out of the house wether after work or weekends.. he even try to persuade us not to go to work in the morning of working days by lying in front of the door.. everytime he heard the sound of the house keys, he ran to the door and starts doing his magic.. it's a kind of sad to leave him, but it's our duty and we just have to do it.. but still, we did our best not to leave the house on weekends, but only for lunch or dinner..
as i'm writing this, oyen is sleeping in front of me.. he had just searched inside every room in the house for my wife..
i wish i cloud bring oyen to see his mama at the hospital, as my wife also told me that she missed oyen so much, but of course the guards wouldn't let oyen in.. i dont think there's a hospital that lets any pets inside their premises.. even hotels.. i've search for a hotel in this country that allows pets, but there's none.. i hope that i can change that..
err.. my eyes kind of sleepy as i'm writing this post, i think i better stop now.. to my family n my wife's pet sis and husband, and also cayak, thanx a lot for coming.. cayak stayed with me from 1300 to 2100.. and he sends me back home.. thank you..

warded part 2..

2006-07-15T23:07:00.000+08:00

my wife's still warded @ pusrawi.. the doctor said that it was food poisoning.. and her body trying to reject the things she ate and currently producing some kind of acidic thingy to get rid of the bad things inside her stomach.. well, i'm not the medical type and surely i dont understand all those scientific words..
i just got back from pusrawi.. and her condition is occay right now.. still looking tired.. after all those battling inside her stomach.. she has stop vomitting but still the diarrea hasnt stop..
i forgot to write that last nite fizy and jann took her to the hospital.. and a few hours later, her relatives come to visit her.. kak ngah n company (just came back from dinner @ planet hollywood) and Long Ida who came all the from Subang Permai.. Long stayed till 2330.. she helped her to the toilet (obviously i cant get in the women's toilet).. thanx a lot Long..
today, my family came for a visit.. some time in the evening, my wife's student came and a few minutes later her pet sister since high school came..
hmm.. thanx to all that helped me and shows concern for me and my wife.. for those who YIMed me last nite, sorry that i cant replied as i was asleep rite after i weite the last post.. thank you again..
oh yeah, she has to stay for another night.. hope that it'll be the last nite there..

warded and friends..

2006-07-15T01:20:00.000+08:00

just came back from pusrawi hospital at jalan tun razak, kl.. my wife has been warded due to food poisoning.. she has been vomiting since 1700 til 2100.. i was so worried that i want to stay with her but the nurses there says that i have to leave.. and they told me that at 2330.. i got no option other than calling up a few of my friends to pick me up.. at first i was thinking of staying at the students hostel in kg baru with my friend hilmi.. he's a fellow there but he says that his sister's staying over for the night as they're going to their hometown early in the morning.. but still, he came to pusrawi and stay with me while i'm waiting for another friend of mine to come and pick me up.. azmin who was just finished his Al Quran recital at his parents house says that he can pick me up and drop me off on his way home to sri kembangan..
thank you guys.. i owed you.. and to my wife.. rest well.. get well soon as these kids miss u so much especiall oyen..

TMNet Streamyx..

2006-07-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

hmm.. my sis-in-law just called me up saying that her registration with TMNet Streamyx (Malaysian top ISP) had to be hold due to insufficient port on their hub.. heh.. on wednesday she told me that the tmnet technician already came to the house to set up the streamyx line for her parents house.. and the technician said that the hub's having a problem so that he cant continue that day..
i suggested to her that se call their hotline and ask for the truth.. and 10 minutes later she called me back and the tmnet customer service adviced her to wait for 7 days..
well, actually, it happened to me once.. during my registration period around august 05 (during my 13 days MC due to fractured wrist).. i called their hotline to check wether there are free ports on their hub for to register, and the first CS (customer service) told me that the port are full.. i was thinking to myself "what am i gonna do within 13 days of mc..?? unsatisfied with his answer, i called up their hotline on the next day.. i was in shocked when the second CS told he that i can register with them and there are free ports.. hmm.. i went straight to the TMPoint (TMNet shop) and try to register for streamyx (with my wrist in cast).. and lucky me the process went well except for my signature.. how can i sigh the form..?? heh.. nevermind that as long as i got my streamyx.. i subscribe to the 'Streamyx-In-A-box' as i knew how to configure those thing myself (and dont have to pay them RM50).. and it was my lucky day as my account got activated on the night itself..
but, christmas comes once in a year.. two weeks later, my connection starts to fail.. i cant connect to the internet.. i called their help line to settle the problem and they said that they will check the hub for me.. 3 days passed and nothing happened.. i called them up again and still they said that they will attend my problem within 24 hours.. and yet, nothing happen.. after 6 or 7 phone calls and still nothing happens, i nearly gave up.. and some from streamyx called.. and he said that he's a Level 2 CS.. and he suggested that i close this case as he would settle the case himself.. and i said occay..
but still, after a week without any changes to my internet connection, i called them again.. this, i tried to be strict and put some anger in my voice.. and voila, the technician came to my house the next day to check my phone line.. i have to take a leave as they cant come during weekends.. dont know why.. he checked and gave a promise that my connection will be occay around 48 hours..
and i wait..
hmm.. as u guys already guess, still no changes.. lol.. i called those cs again.. and the technician came.. again.. and i have to take a leave.. again..
only after that, after nearly 3 weeks struggling for a connection, more than 10 phone calls, i got my connection back..
i was thinking to myself, should i pay my internet connection for only a week usage, or should i use the money to pay my phone bill as i have to call them over and over again.. and i decided to just pay for both.. it's no good to quarrel with them again as i can see where it will be going.. heh..
the morale of the story, hmm.. u decide.. i just cant understand that how can tmnet put up a booth to push everyone to sign up for their services.. they spend a lot of money to gain new customer and ignored the existing customer needs..
then again, who am i to say anything to them.. it was just my tormented thoughts..

project projector..

2006-07-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i'm still on my latest project of connecting my home pc to the projector.. and the current problem is the current gap between my pc and the projector was around 4-5 metres.. and the projector is in the bedroom so i cant move the pc as the pc was located at the corner of the room..
i'm currently using Asus A9250 powered by ATI Radeon with 256Mb DDR graphic card on computer.. it has one RGB, one S-Video output and one DVI output..
i went to low yatt plaza (some kind of IT heaven in KL) and try to find a 5 metres RGB cable.. and i was suprised by the price for that simple thingy.. it was RM450 for a 5 metres cable, and RM350 for a 3 metres cable.. it was bloodsucking price (maybe that price was fair as i've never check the market before) and i decided to come up with another plan..
i searched lelong.com.my for a RGB to RCA converter (the yellow thingy for video connection).. there was two seller selling that item there.. the price was RM30 and RM90.. i was thinking and trying to figure out what's the differences between those two.. and finally, i called up the RM30 seller and ask him the reason for price differences (i wouldnt call the RM90 guy as i'm sure he would told me the RM30 was 'cap ayam' brand).. the RM30 guy calmly said that it was the same.. only the quality difference which is no matter to me as i think it doesnt matter so much.. i had order one unit from him and it arrived yesterday.. and my next mission is to find 5 metres RCA cable..
i always thought that it was easy to find it as i've a lot of these cable in my office (but it was 1 metre type).. and i was wrong.. the longest i can find was 3 metres.. and i decided to buy a connector and connect the 3 metres cable that i just bought few hours ago (RM8) with a 1 metre cable that was lying unused in my office..
after all the hassle of finding this and that, i checked the video card at the office (the same model that i use), and i realised "why didn't i just use the cable that was included in the graphic card box that convert the S-Video to RCA..??" hmm.. i could have saved RM30 (plus RM5 for shipping).. and i got a 2 metres long S-Video cable in my office and i just can connect it to the RCA cable that i've just bought..

hhmmmm.. my wife's gonna kill me..

respect..

2006-07-13T08:50:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i know that most of u guys have heard of a game titled 'Grand Theft Auto'.. and most of u guys also labeled the game as the most violence and the game itself created an issue after a patch that have been released that allows the player to have a bonus sex trailer..
i've only played the older version of the game during PSOne.. the violent was there.. but something i learn from the as it was the theme of the game itself.. 'Respect is everything'..
yerp.. there's a good thing about this game after all.. i learned that respect IS everything.. in the i'm living rite now it's kinda hard to people that implementing that simple feature of respect.. yet, they tried so hard to gain other people respect without the self-awareness of gaining the respect from the people around them and yet they still didn't respect other people to achieve that.. what i can see in those people are just selfishness.. they didn't try to understand what other people feeling, and they didn't care anything at all as long as their goal can be achieve..
the most common situation that are so obvious about the 'people's selfishness' was during queuing.. as i travel using public transportation to get to my destinations, this problem occurs in every places i go.. it hard to find a place that has a respect value within these people.. usually, they didn't even try to respect other people by queuing to get on the public transportation either buses or trains.. if i had the chance to be the first to reach the specific place to wait for the bus or train, i would try to create a queue line as i stand behind my wife as there was a line for those people to queue.. even if there are one or two people that has started a queue line to get onto the bus or train, me and my wife would try join the queues.. but still, when the bus or train arrive, so suddenly, out of nowhere, these selfish people would come out and fight for a front place to get themselves the first to get on the public transport..
sometimes i wonder.. how would they feel if they were the one who's queing and somebody else cuts their queues.. would they be mad..?? would they ask the people to queue..??
surely i know that these kind of people really dont think of what other people would feel.. these selfishness are so bad and happening almost everwhere.. and i dont know how to mend this problem.. and actually the answer is of course 'respect'..
there's a tv commercial on Malaysian local tv that shows a group of children being advice by their parents not to jump queue after seeing their children pushing each other to get on their SUV.. the script was like this.. "dont jump queue.. line up and wait for your turns.." the father said.. on their way, there's a massive traffic jam in front of them.. what the father did was he turn to the emergency lane to jump the queue himself.. and he's smiling to his wife and the wife smiles back at him.. suddenly, all of their children shoout out the line "dont jump queue.. line up and wait for your turn.." altogether..
yeah.. for most of the people, it would be a funny and ordinary tv commercial.. for me, it was actually a struck of truth for some selfish people.. and yet, it still happens in most of the highways and almost everywhere when there's a traffic jam.. and it is not just about on the road..
hmm.. since i was 18, i trained myself to think of how would it feel to wear other people shoes.. in every situation, almost every time that i encounter people, i would try to understand their side of feelings.. and i trained myself to respect other people in effort to win other people respect.. i kept my voice down while talking, i try be as polite as possible towards other people especially by implementing the word 'thank you' and 'sorry' in my life, and other things as well.. but my weakness is i cant look at other people's eyes while communicating with them.. i got my own reason actually.. and i know most of u thinks as it was one sign of weakness.. actually some people didn't feel comfortable looking straight to other people eyes.. i'm in that group actually.. and of course i know it was kinda rude to do that, and usually i would say sorry before i begins the conversation.. i tried to learn from other people body language wether or not they're comfortable or not while talking to me..
and for me, respect is everything.. by respecting others, you're helping yourself for selfawareness and of course, selfrespect..
i think this post is kind of dragging for too long.. in my next post i'll write about the usage and how meaningful the word 'thank you' and 'sorry' can be.. and maybe there will be part 2..
hmm.. as i said before.. it's my two cents.. my tormented thoughts..

tormented..?? part 2..

2006-07-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

hmm.. first thing that my wife ask me when she knows that i've created a blog is "why tormented..??" and my answer was "i just love the word"..
i first knew the word 'tormented' was thru a song 'Odd From A Psycopath' from a local Malaysian band call 'Broodwyn' (cant remember it too well)..
actually, from my opinion, anything that's still breathing are a tormented creature.. nobody's having a perfect life.. as anyone has said in most of the time, 'you're not perfect, every human are not perfect, only God is perfect'.. Subhanallah.. yes, i'm a Muslim.. hmm.. what i meant here is that everybody are being tormented by something that they cant run away from.. problems, thoughts, etc..
for me, i'm actually tormented by my own thoughts most of the times.. "why did i do that..??", "what should i do next..??", "why am i being the one who have to do all the things..??" and all other thought.. as i said before on the last post, dont think too much as it would damage yourself more than the problem itself.. actually, it happens to me most of the times.. i think too much.. that makes me a quiet person.. and i love being one.. heh.. i just cant stop thinking of the consequenses for my next move.. i just cant stop thinking about other people feelings if i do something.. but still, i'm too lazy to make a move.. heh.. and i'm not a decision maker.. i'd just hate it if sumone ask me for an opinion.. i hate to take the blame if that person involve in a wrong situation..
here's a little advice for all of u.. if u want to ask for someone's opinion, prepare for the consequenses on your own.. dont go blaming the person who help u to make the decision.. and try to accept that person's opinion as u ask for it in the first place.. u ask for an opinion, not a suggestion.. there's a lot of difference between those two.. opinion - something to help you or to something to support your decision.. and most of the time, it comes from a person straight from the heart.. suggestion - choices for you to take and you can either accept it or not.. it would make no harm if you decided not to accept the suggestion.. but still, it hurts if u take the opinion negatively.. prepare yourself for someone's opinion before asking for it.. and it as i said before, tormented by other people thought..
hmm.. and i would like to write this little announcement.. everything i wrote here are not meant for anyone.. i'm not trying to be synical, i'm not trying to express my dissatisfaction towards anyone.. it just a little two cents from me.. my tormented thoughts..

tormented..??

2006-07-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i'm trying to blog as i saw that a it's kinda a struck of blog fever everywhere i go.. everybody's having their own blog to supress their feeling towards the evolving world around them.. no, i'm not the kind of guy who would just follow others to cope with the trends.. i just felt like writing as i'm always keep everything away from other people and actually it's kinda hard to do for a certain times.. well, for you all to know, i'm a very absent minded person.. i would just forgets anything that bother me.. any problem, any issue and almost everything.. 'sleeping is the best solution for your problems'.. no, i'm not quoting that from any movies, any influential people.. that's one of my mottos.. i got a lot of them n i will write it in this blog as u journey a little deeper in my life..

why tormented..?? well, i'm not tormented by anybody right now.. there's no one to blame.. i love my current life right now.. i love my wife, my cat, my family, my religion, my country and my world.. it's just that sometime, somewhere an itsy bitsy thingy would struck my life n ruin the whole day.. as i said before, sleeping is the best solution.. when u woke up after a good nite sleep, i'm sure u'll feel like a new guy / gal.. and a new day awaits u.. leave the past behind as it wont affect u anymore.. u cant change 'em.. u can't do anything for the past.. u can only plan for the future.. 'what's done is done'.. maybe some of u would say that u cant dump your problem just like that.. it will come after u sooner or later.. well, that's true.. but then, why do u have to mess your life up for a little problem..?? just take a little your time to relax and use that time to think of a solution.. a best solution for u and others that involved in these problem.. i know that it's kinda 'too good to be true', but actually, the more u think of how the problem would messed u up,the more messier things happen during those thinking time.. just go on with your life..

hmm.. i'm not trying to give solutions to anyone here.. n i'm not saying that i'm free from any problem.. i'm an ordinary guy who inhale the next breath and exhale the last breath..

well, that's all for now.. i'll try to post as many as i could.. there are a lot of things in my mind now to post about, but time still waits for me.. i hope..